Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/What DID ever happen to Robot Jones?
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What DID ever happen to Robot Jones?[edit source]
Princess Zeke 07:21, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
| Humour: | 5 | I can only assume that the humour fits perfectly in the context of the subject you parody. Not being familiar with the Robot Jones show, I can only really advise if the article is stand alone funny. I have to say it is not. If you parody a subject say, the way the Airplane films did - it was still funny to audiences who had never seen an Airport film. The filmakers used humour that had a common frame of reference with the viewers.
You're missing a golden opportunity to get some laughs in by having such a short article. You need to rethink this. But you are a humourous writer and I'm sure that another draft is not beyond you. It's way too short at the moment, though. |
| Concept: | 5 | I must admit, I had to look up Robot Jones on Wikipedia, because I had never heard of the show before what with being a stiff upper Brit. It's a fair concept I suppose, only we don't find out what happened to him. I guess this must be your intention because it's so obvious a point. It just makes the title a bit meaningless. I've always been a fan of the Whatever happened To ... style sequel stories. What Thelma and Louise did after the end of the film, that sort of thing ... You could capitalise on this by adding more references to the original show. |
| Prose and formatting: | 5 | I'm guessing that maybe the writing reflects the style of the show. (Maybe not the swearing).I'm never too worried about prose, because the most important thing to get across is the concept and you have done that. Any petty stuff like grammar and spelin g mistaeks is easily fixable -I didn't spot any here anyway. |
| Images: | 4 | Not great. I did not understand the reference of the first picture. Who is it? You ideally need some pictures from the Robot Jones show (and doctor them so nobody can accuse you of pilfering them!) |
| Miscellaneous: | 4.8 | It's not a bad start and you have something on which to build a better article. Please don't feel despondent by this review - But I know you would appreciate honesty. And you do have a quality to your writing which should be nurtured and encouraged. |
| Final Score: | 23.8 | You must expand the article, that's probably the initial task. Then tell us a bit more about the show, perhaps. and maybe include more about the original show so ignorants like me don't have to look it up. I'm confident that you are more than capable of improving this - The necrophiliacs' UnNews you wrote was much funnier and of a higher standard. |
| Reviewer: | Geoffprickett 16:45, 8 October 2008 (UTC) | |