Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:waylander37/hellboy

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User:waylander37/hellboy

Waylander37 16:52, January 3, 2012 (UTC)

Comic books and Nazis. Of course I'll do this one! Pup 12:24 13 Feb '12

Humour:	5	Okay - it's somewhat of a habit of mine to refer people back to HTBFANJS, so I will do that now before I go any further. Okay, now that I've done that, there are a few nice points of humour in here, and a few more bland points. I'm not going to go through the article piece by piece as I feel there is a significant mine that you've missed here in relationship to your concept. The main thing I would say is that there is a huge amount of random in here that really doesn't add to the article. For instance Del Toro had just suffered a mental breakdown and was now hooked on steroids. doesn't add any real humour to the article - it just comes across as stupid. While at the same time Liz Sherman is the love interest of Hellboy, the professor and John Myers, due to the fact that she is the only woman in the main cast. is a good line, as it picks apart the ridiculous in the "reality" of the comic.
Concept:	5	Concept is fairly light. Yeah, any comic book franchise is a ripe target for ridicule. In fact any fantasy world does have that potential for ridicule, as the basis of any fantasy is suspension of disbelief. By breaking that suspension you can pick holes in the concept of the priginal large enough to drive a truck through. As an example, here is a synopsis of the franchise from Wikipedia: A well-meaning demon whose true name is Anung Un Rama (Meaning "...and upon his brow is set a crown of fire..."), Hellboy was summoned from Hell to Earth as an infant on December 23, 1944 (given as his birth date by Mike Mignola[1]) by Nazi occultists (spawning his hatred for them). He was discovered by the Allied Forces; amongst them, Professor Trevor Bruttenholm, who formed the United States Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (BPRD). In time Hellboy grew to be a large, red-skinned demon with a tail, horns (which he files off, leaving behind the signature circular stumps on his forehead), cloven hooves for feet, and an oversized right hand made of stone. He has been described as smelling of dry-roasted peanuts. Although a bit gruff, he shows none of the malevolence thought to be intrinsic to demons, and works with other strange creatures in the BPRD. This is said to be because of his upbringing under Professor Bruttenholm, who raised him as a normal boy. Okay. Now read that again and assume that you're reading that from a newspaper article. How many things in that one paragraph are just plain wrong? So while the humour you have in here is okay, it's nowhere near as good as what you could have given the rich material you have to work from. One thing I would strongly suggest is do not rely just upon the movie for your jokes. Read things like the wikipedia article, or hellboy.wikia.com.
Prose and formatting:	4	Spelling and Grammar franchise about A red mutant -> franchise about a red mutant film and god knows what -> film, and God knows what The poularity of the franchise -> The popularity of the franchise we didn't beleave it the first -> we didn't believe it the first suicide bomber for AlQuada -> suicide bomber for Al-Qaida Prince Nuada is an aryan elf -> Prince Nuada is an Aryan elf with his reich of robots -> with his Reich of robots land of mysticallness -> land of mysticalness (The word doesn't actually exist, but the suffix is just -ness and the root word is mystical, so it makes more sense to dump the second l) Hellboy getting chlamydia -> Hellboy getting Chlamydia Abe must search the the holy land of israel -> Abe must search the Holy Land of Israel watch cartoon Nazi's every saturday morning -> watch cartoon Nazi's every Saturday morning Format There is no real issue with the format as such, however I would be inclined to add more in here in relationship to the fact that this is a franchise, and as such it could have an infobox added that would give it a more Wikipedic feel. (See Wikipedia:Hellboy) Overall feel/look The list of characters is, well, listy, but it has to be by the token of it being a list. I would suggest extending it slightly so that there's a little more content for each character, and a small headshot image for each to accompany it. I'd also put this together as a tables to make it a little prettier to look at. So something like:- {| style="width:100%; background:f8f8f8;border-collapse:collapse; border:1px solid #bbb;" |- |style="width:100px"|[[Image:face.png|100px]] |'''Hellboy''':Hellboy is a big red guy who hangs around with a big blue guy. Together they kill other big guys that are different colours. He is the son of [[Old man |John Hurt]] and enjoys long walks and jumping under trains. He is the hero of the story, although he's a bit of a dick. More text somewhere around here so that it has a bit of a more ''fleshed out'' look to the character bio. |} {| style="width:100%; background:f8f8f8;border-collapse:collapse; border:1px solid #bbb;" |- |'''The Professor''': The Professor or [[Old man]], is Hellboy's father. He found Hellboy during world war two when a Nazi tried to use dark magic to open a gateway to hell (no, we didn't beleave it the first time either). He then set up an agency to repel the forces of evil and sanity. In the films he is played by [[Alien|John Hurt]]. The professor enjoys reading and unusual situations. More text somewhere around here as well. |style="width:100px"|[[Image:face.png|100px]] |} {| style="width:100%; background:f8f8f8;border-collapse:collapse; border:1px solid #bbb;" |- |style="width:100px"|[[Image:face.png|100px]] |blah blah blah |}
Images:	4	Sorry, that Spock picture is a terrible, terrible 'chop. Given that I can't give any more points to images. Source some better images - they don't need to be funny. In fact the best images are those that are unfunny in and of themselves, but are captioned well. Find good images. Given this is Hollywood film based on a comic, there will be a few floating around via a google image search that would suit you.
Miscellaneous:	6.5	It has some promise, especially if you invest more in the concept.
Final Score:	24.5
Reviewer:	Pup 08:57 13 Feb '12

From above

Hellboy:Hellboy is a big red guy who hangs around with a big blue guy. Together they kill other big guys that are different colours. He is the son of John Hurt and enjoys long walks and jumping under trains. He is the hero of the story, although he's a bit of a dick. More text somewhere around here so that it has a bit of a more fleshed out look to the character bio.

The Professor: The Professor or Old man, is Hellboy's father. He found Hellboy during world war two when a Nazi tried to use dark magic to open a gateway to hell (no, we didn't beleave it the first time either). He then set up an agency to repel the forces of evil and sanity. In the films he is played by John Hurt. The professor enjoys reading and unusual situations. More text somewhere around here as well.

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