Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Tagstit/Cardboard Box

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Cardboard Box

This is my very first article so formatting tips would help! In-depth would be appreciated! Thanks! Tagstit 22:49, 11 January 2009 (UTC)

Humour:	7	The article has a great idea of making the use of a cardboard box that of tactical deployment. I did not expect taking a cardboard box in this direction and it is commendable. As for the jokes, I enjoyed the one about Bush, though like most things, the article as a whole could use some additional jokes, especially in the first few sentences. Deadpan comedy is funny BUT I do not recommend using it in the first section of the article mainly because it scares off readers (you need something to "GET" them and deadpan is usually much better to be used in the body). Other than adding some additional jokes, this article receives an average score for being averagely funny (which is still fairly humorous). The expensive paint supply joke, imo, didn't really work so you might want to change it, but the one about the fragile (especially the accompanying picture) really came through and saved that paragraph.
Concept:	9	The article has a great idea of making the use of a cardboard box that of tactical deployment. I did not expect taking a cardboard box in this direction and it is commendable. The general concept is "Taking a ubiquitous, ordinary household item and treating it as a new technology" is funny. Using it for military application is also funny. However the article appears to be misleading because it is contains a combination of military and civilian uses while the introductory paragraph suggests it will only have military purposes to help the troops. Try to make the use of the cardboard box as broad as possible (i.e. give it as many "new" uses as you can) to further exploit the concept for jokes)
Prose and formatting:	8	The formatting was really well-done. It seems you did your homework before you submitted something to pee review, which is in and of itself commendable (and much less annoying for the reviewers who are expecting something tangible). You might want to take some time to help re-format other uncyclopedia articles which are also funny but appear to have been formatted by a 6-year-old with down syndrome. This will probably make you some friends here =).
Images:	8	The pictures (mostly the comments below them) were a bit above avg. and related to the article. Might want to change the caption under the box-robot to involve something more sinister.
Miscellaneous:	8	Above avg. article, but needs more work on increasing the humor content. GREAT JOB! **GOLD STAR W/SMILEY FACE**
Final Score:	40	Work on the jokes. Everything else is top notch. Perhaps change the captions, pictures or even add more pictures themselves. Once that is complete, you'll have yourself an article with front-page appeal =)
Reviewer:	Projectjulio 20:05, 14 January 2009 (UTC)