Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Mrman45/Article about stuff

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User:Mrman45/Article about stuff

Mrman45 17:49, 24 June 2008 (UTC)

Humour:	3	All right! So, obviously, despite the bizarre title, this is intended to live at Regis Philbin. Let's see what we've got. Quotes: 3. It's not technically a requirement to put quotes at the top of an article. Nine out of ten times, they aren't funny. These aren't very funny. The first one is confusing: who's Frank? The third and fourth ones are okay, but kind of flat (although I don't see why a striked-out "Boop" is in there). The second one: kill it with fire. Dragging a video game character into an article nearly always sends an article into a spiral of death from which there is no return. Regis Philbin: 5 - Well, this should be re-titled, since it's the probable title of the article. So, this isn't hilarious, but at least it stays on topic. I guess the joke is that he's overpaid and that every other talk show host takes one of his middle names as their name. Like I said: not hilarious. His horrible early life and career: 3. Whoa. Sorry, but this is a mess. It's hard to read one unbroken paragraph; it's even harder when it's full of run-on sentences and parenthetical remarks and strikethroughs. I have trouble even getting through this. And it's hard to find the jokes, too. Betty White is married to Bob Barker and poisoned their son? That doesn't seem very funny. Kicked out of the navy? No real joke there. Had an unsuccessful first show? Not really a joke. The idea that he's overpaid to fake a New York accent is kind of a joke - but it doesn't really hit home for me. I mean, the guy has a New York accent. So? The reason for Regis's name change is probably my favorite part of the section; that got a small grin from me. Talk Show Career: 5. This one starts out with some promise, with the joke that Steve Allen-style idiocy is actually a job requirement. But then it loses steam. Kathie Lee is fat? She clearly isn't, so... what's the joke? No one watches Regis & Kelly? That's also really not true, sadly, so it's not the right joke either. To be funny, an insult usually either has to match reality or blatantly contradict it, so these jokes would work either if Kathie Lee was rail thin and Regis & Kelly had mind-blowing, record-setting ratings, or if Kathie Lee was in fact obese and Regis & Kelly was a massive commercial flop. But none of these four things are true. So... there's nowhere to go with jokes about weight and ratings. Game Show Career: 4. There's really nothing great to be found here. One of its main problems is that it's all plausible. Every time I read a sentence, I think: wait, is that a joke, or is that completely true? The article isn't going to attract a bunch of Philbin fanboys who follow his every career move, so it's important to somehow make it explicit when the article is making fun of something real and when it's just making stuff up. "Kelly's curse" really doesn't need to be repeated three times. Hosting: 3. I guess the idea that Philbin breaks his arm every year has some promise, but this isn't handled well. The tantrum doesn't make any sense. Being put in prison for no apparent crime doesn't make any sense. Guest Appearances: 1. This section is awful. It's basically listcruft - naming random occurrences of the "Kelly curse." And I'm not sure the Kelly curse is really that funny. I'm at a loss to see whether it has any real-world analogue (the fact that people got tired of Millionaire? maybe?), and the article gives the impression that it's just something random that was thought up halfway through. Writing And Music Works: 2. There is absolutely no point for this to be here. Yes, Regis had a short and unsuccessful musical career, but if there's no parody of that, other than to say he had a short and unsuccessful musical career, then why say anything at all? Personal Life: 3. Saying Regis is married to his cat probably isn't going to work. It looks like this is a satire of the one line in Wikipedia that says he has a "strong bond" to his cat - but no Uncyclopedia reader is going to know that. They're probably going to think: "Is he a perpetual bachelor? Is he the poster boy for family values?" - and, really, he's neither: he's on his second marriage and it's lasted 28 years. And, apparently, Regis is in fact not good with new technology, but saying "he hates technology" isn't really a satire of that fact. Plus, only a Philbin fanboy would even know that, so the average Uncyclopedia reader is going to gloss through that and say "Whatever." Awards and Inrecognition: 1. More listcruft; let's get rid of it. Research Sources: N/A. If you want to refer people to Wikipedia for some background, it's probably better to stick the {{Wikipedia}} template at the top of the page, rather than a link at the bottom.
Concept:	4	The concept here seems to be to take Wikipedia's article and vandalize it a bit by exaggerating its claims. If it says Regis isn't good at technology, say he hates technology. If it says his ratings have dropped, say his ratings have plummeted. If it says he has a strong bond with his cat, say he's married to his cat. That's really not comedy gold. It's my opinion that an Uncyclopedia article should never satirize obscure details about its subject. An article about Regis should be about what everyone knows: his talk show with Kathy Lee and Kelly, Millionaire, America's Got Talent, and his frenetic hammy sense of humor. Really, it probably shouldn't be about anything else at all.
Prose and formatting:	5	The prose isn't terrible, but there are some instances of run-on sentences, and, as I mentioned before, the strikethroughs and parentheticals can make it hard to read. One major failing here is that the article contains no links!! That pretty much dooms it to be a dead end that no one will see. Link it up: it makes it look more like a satire of Wikipedia. Plus, fake links do provide opportunities for comedy.
Images:	4	They're just stock pictures. They aren't captioned in funny ways. I guess they make the article a little prettier, but there's a whole lot more that one could do with pictures.
Miscellaneous:	4	Averaged.
Final Score:	20	It's hard to say where to go from here. I hate telling people to start over, but I think this one may need a reboot. Don't just vandalize the Wikipedia article; instead, tell jokes about Philbin that readers will understand. Good luck!
Reviewer:	Hyperbole 18:29, 4 July 2008 (UTC)