Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Local reporter contracts swine flu

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UnNews:Local reporter contracts swine flu

-- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  18:50, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

Humour:	2	Umm, not to sound mean or anything, but...where's the humor? The whole idea of a reporter getting swine flu actually sounds probable and realistic. If you're going to make a swine flu UnNews, it needs to be a bit more farfetched than this- i'd recommend throwing it some improbabilities to make it sound more like UnNews and less like WikiNews.
Concept:	3	Like I said above, your concept sounds like it can expanded into a pretty solid article. Right now, however, there are too many facts. Also, mid-way through the article you drift off into first person a bit- try to stay in first person throughout the article; consistency is key.
Prose and formatting:	6	Overall well done, however, there are a few red links here, and like I said above, your switch to first person makes it hard to understand. Make sure you comb off some of the red links (and maybe some of the generic blue links as well).
Images:	5	You've got one image right now, and I suppose that works with the article OK, but the main problem is it has a generic caption. While an article like this doesn't need an onslaught of images, you should alter your caption a bit.
Miscellaneous:	3.5	My overall grade of the article.
Final Score:	19.5	Well, you've got an interesting concept that could be made into an entertaining article, but your main problem is that it's simply too realistic. The big thing you can do right now is to rewrite your article to give it a few twists and turns that could never happen in reality- for example, the reporter getting Swine Flu and then going on the air to make it sound worse than it actually is. Also, make sure you stay in third person prespective throughout the article, and get rid of a few of the links I mentioned. Good luck! =)
Reviewer:	Saberwolf116 17:40, 11 May 2009 (UTC)