Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Ugliness RESUB

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Ugliness

A redo of an article I did a couple months back. Some changes, but the same concept and structure. --Nomoredonkeys 02:11, 23 December 2007 (UTC)

If I've been a little too cloudy in my descriptions or you just seek some extra help, feel free to drop me a line on my Talk Page. I'd be glad to help in any way I can. Farley of the Sheep-Filled Meadows Try not to puke...(Please!) 01:41, 25 December 2007 (UTC)

Good review in my opinion, Farley!   Le Cejak • <-> (Dec 25 / 08:48)

Thanks, Cajek. :P ~ Farley of the Sheep-Filled Meadows Try not to puke...(Please!) 14:53, 25 December 2007 (UTC)

Humour:	5	While some parts of this article made me smirk and chuckle, others didn't. Namely, the sections I believe to be the funnier parts are the Myths About Ugly People and Cure sections. All the others, in my opinion, were somewhat flat. Here are a few suggestions to spicing them up a bit: Be less formal, as you tend to come off as almost throughout, and sound a bit more deranged. Stop showing statics unless they promote the humor in an interesting way. Here, they just seem to convey the message that you actually have something to back the article up. Obviously, that hinders your ability to sound like a true Uncyclopedian. Inject a personality into your article. You know, give the writer, yourself, a tone that fits with the article, like adopting the thoughts of one of those rich, beautiful cheerleaders whom might feel that the disease is a good promoter for their privileged lifestyle. Or you could pretend to be one of those people whom are affected by the disease and make this disease sound more devastating than the black plague. Basically, put on a mask and role play a little bit.
Concept:	7	The concept isn't the most mind blowing of concepts, but it still has potential. You can obviously go pretty far with an article that portrays ugliness as a disease.
Prose and formatting:	9	This is the strongest aspect of this article, as it has a very clean layout. All the sections are presented in an easy to follow fashion and the pictures don't disrupt the text (for the most part). The few hiccups I found were as follows: "Alcohol is the only known cure for ugliness currently in production (missing period) When consumed in large quantities..." The fourth picture picture causes the words "average up" to wrap directly under it. The second picture pushes the "Cure" title over. (This isn't really a big deal, though)
Images:	6	All the images fit, but the only one I found to be funny was the fourth (the photochopped image of the ugly...thing's face). I'm not sure how you could improve on the articles, as finding ones for the topic ugliness comes across as difficult...
Miscellaneous:	7	I did an average of the scores in my head, then rounded it out in your favor. Hopefully winter vacation has been kind to my brain...
Final Score:	34	This article is greatly laid out, but doesn't quite live up to its potential, due to a lack on humor in some text and pictures.
Reviewer:	Farley of the Sheep-Filled Meadows Try not to puke...(Please!) 01:41, 25 December 2007 (UTC)