Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Day The Earth Stood Still

POP!GoesTheWeasel 06:44, December 20, 2011 (UTC)

Humour:	6	Remove all phrases such as "yeah right", "lol", "Ha ha", and so on. Once they are removed, read the remaining text back to yourself. Better, isn't it? Humor must always stand on its own. You also need a better sense of audience. Don't insult them. I know what you're going for, but you repeat it too often. Then there's that phrase "stealing our pizzas", which you are really overworking when you don't really need to. Somewhow, I feel the phrase "All your base are belong to us" (sic) has to be worked in here somehow, too.
Concept:	6	This could be a great parody of all the worst elements of 1950s Sci-Fi movies, with all the attendant Cold War paranoia, because that is what the original 1951 movie was tapping into. If I were writing this piece, that is what I would be focusing on, and having fun with.
Prose and formatting:	5	The conversational style is something which is a part of Uncyclopedia culture, but you have to watch your tone, and focus your humor efforts on the movie. Don't piss off the reader so much.
Images:	8	It may become necessary to fix the images after the edits.
Miscellaneous:	6	Readability can be improved upon. The text messaging abbreviations don't impress me. More research is needed for the original movie.
Final Score:	31	Go over the entire article from top to bottom, fix the tone, get rid of the "yeah rights" and lol's. Watch the movie or read a synopsis about it on the internet somewhere.
Reviewer:	Phrank Psinatra 05:19, January 25, 2012 (UTC)

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