Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Before Time(quick)
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The Before Time[edit source]
Jf97806 21:48, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
| Humour: | 5 | The humor here relies too much on random humor, memes, and uncyclopedia injokes. When I say "memes", I mean specifically kitten huffing, Chuck Norris, gingers, and Wilde. South Park made all the ginger jokes. Old Chucky's been done to death, and kitten huffing, while a great article, has been read by virtually everybody on uncyclopedia and referencing it is like trying to stay in the past. Wilde is also best mentioned sparingly and used for the wittiest, "oh snap" quotations. You need to make the article less about those things and find the crux of what the article is really about, which leads me to the next part. |
| Concept: | 7 | The concept really has potential, I think. Your article is essentially about what happened before the big bang happened. Maybe explain a ridiculous story about what caused the big bang, or maybe focus more on your "historians", because nothing could have survived the "big bang." I dunno. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | Formatting's pretty good. Just remove the redlinks. It may be easier to read if you break up your paragraphs a little bit. A few problems with commas and run-on sentences in the "Decline of the before time" section. |
| Images: | 7 | I like the photo-shop work on the Norris picture, but again Norris has been done to death. I get the carrot top being a ginger thing, but it could use a different caption, maybe? |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.5 | averaged |
| Final Score: | 32.5 | Try to go back to the bare bones, the concept of the article, and work it from there. Figure out what is specifically funny about the time before the big bang, and work it from there. You may have to rewrite the whole article, but I think there is a gem hiding in here somewhere. Finally, lose as many memes and uncyclopedia in-jokes as you can. |
| Reviewer: | User:Mrthejazz/sig 04:53, April 21, 2010 (UTC) | |