Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Robot Ninja

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Robot Ninja

This article is pretty old, but I felt it had potential. Tried to save it like saving someone who's having a heart attack. Tell me if I helped it out, or if I just caused the heart attack to expand into a stroke as well. Thanks --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   22:13, January 11, 2011 (UTC)

Humour:	7	I think the paranthesis added by User:Oliphaunte were top notch and probably elicited the best chuckles of the whole thing. Talk of the Robot Ninja weaknesses was pretty good. Much of the history portion of the article is unfortunately dull.
Concept:	6.5	It's definitely an original idea. Perhaps condense the history (which can be rather lengthy and dull) to its funniest points, and add a section on tech specs, weaponry, etc. How about some blueprints? Also... I like the paranthetical jokes as I say, but some of the lengthier ones break up sentences - maybe try using <ref>'''footnote text'''</ref> and adding a {{references}} section at the end to make some of those longer ones footnotes - anything longer than 5 words, say.
Prose and formatting:	8	It's pretty well-written; a few errors using punctuation & capitalization that I saw, I don't remember any spelling errors. The layout is suitably uncyclopaedic.
Images:	8	I feel like it could have a couple of more images, but what you have, works. New images would probably have to be made from scratch. Charcoal or watercolor images lampooning famous ancient Japanese art? That's one idea. Images of a ninja robot in a Japanese WWII uniform? What else...
Miscellaneous:	9	I'd give user:oliphaunte big props for the effort he put in when I compared his work to the earlier version. This article isn't perfect, but you made it a little more fun.
Final Score:	38.5	The concept is zany but not yet fully realized to its potential. What does it need? I don't know. See, there were places where there were some quotes of people, and I was hoping they would be like bad subtitle translations of what those quoted were saying. That's one idea. Often when you lampoon Japan, one lampoons the misunderstood mysticism of the people - check into the lore and see if you can find some ideas (I admit I'm not so knowlegeable there).
Reviewer:	Rpm 05:18, February 11, 2011 (UTC)