Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Lynn
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Lynn[edit source]
Just some article :D
User:Zheliel/sigz2 16:04, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Humour: | 5 | It's original, i'll give the author that, but it suffers from a lack of direction. The main problem here is that the joke is a one-trick pony, and after the first few sections, it seems like it's just throwing stuff at us at random. A few non-sequitirs- such as Jimbo and Wilde- should be taken away, to make way for a better article. Once we get the cliches out of the way, it would be a good idea to expand it some. |
Concept: | 7.5 | A unique concept, and one that could be made into an interesting articles. There are two problems here: first, like many articles, it suffers from an inadquete execution. This one is slightly above most other articles like it, but I think the style of the article (Lynn the beautiful monkey) needs to stay consistent throughout. Second, a title like Lynn might attract IPs, as someone named Lynn might want to write an article about something completely different. You might want to create this under "Lynn the monkey" or something similair to that. |
Prose and formatting: | 7 | Pretty much painless, and gets the point across fine with little or no spelling errors. My only main concern is that the images look a bit cluttered together because of the length of the article. You might want to move the second one to the other side of the screen, so it looks nicer- two images directly below and on top of each other looks a bit redundant. |
Images: | 7 | Decent. They fit into the style of the article well, and an article like this really doesn't need laugh out loud images. If you plan on working on this, don't worry about the images- that's not really a problem. |
Miscellaneous: | 7.5 | My overall grade of the article. |
Final Score: | 34 | It's a unique concept, and one that can be shaped together to possibly make a feature. While it doesn't need a steamroll, it needs some work. There are a couple of things you can do right now: first, get rid of the unrelated stagnant jokes (i'd recommend eliminating the What was that about the Goddess of Fat? section)- the article looks much better with Oscar Wilde and Jimbo Wales out of the picture. Next, expand it some. This is a great idea, and could be made into a series of funny jokes if left into the hands of a competent writer. An extra coat of paint would be to mess with the images a bit, just to make sure they're in the right sections.
Bottom line: Good concept, decent article, but it could be so much more if you work with it. Good luck! =) |
Reviewer: | Saberwolf116 20:30, 14 May 2009 (UTC) |