Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Lara Croft (resub)
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Lara Croft[edit source]
I've added some content and did a few changes, as have other people. I'm not great in humor, so the more specific the better. Thanks in advance!
Sugarandfluff 14:47, 8 July 2008 (UTC)
PRIP EXPIRED Though Hyperbole reserved this Pee Review, he/she/it/Abominable Snowman has not yet completed it. You may claim the review by replacing his/her/its/Abominable Snowman's name with yours. |
Humour: | 4.5 | Hey Sugarandfluff! So I've reviewed a few of these lately - old, shitty IPcruft articles that an enterprising editor has decided to adopt and make their own. It's a challenging and often thankless job. Let's see how you did.
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Concept: | 3 | As discussed above, this is the biggest problem with the article - and the biggest problem with most articles that start as IPcruft. IPs often don't care about the concept of the article; they have one joke they want to make, and they find a spot (or make their own), and drop it in. So, if you're going to be the adoptee of this page, this is the most important challenge for you to rise to. Decide whether Lara is a real person or a video game character; decide whether she's come into contact with other video game characters or pop icons. (No, on second thought, don't decide that last one. Let me do it for you. The answer is: no.) Then make fun of her and the Tomb Raider series. Pick out absurdities that exist in the game and exploit them. And often, the best way to do that is to present them as they're real. You've done a good job of that talking about how her blocky body smoothed out, but we actually need most of the article to consist of those sort of jokes. |
Prose and formatting: | 7 | The prose is very good - clear, articulate, encyclopedic. There are a few typos which could be ironed out by using a spell checker - perhaps the one that's included with Firefox. The formatting isn't too terrible, but it would be helped by a more consistent section length - a good rule of thumb is 3-4 paragraphs of 3-4 sentences per section. Feel free to break that rule of thumb, but it's still a good one. |
Images: | 5 | The joke about how strange Lara looked at "age 18" is funny. The rest of this stuff, frankly, is just filler. You might want to find a screenshot (open up Youtube and take some screen captures) of Lara doing something that is apparently absurd, and make a joke about it. Personally, I'd keep Jolie out of this article entirely, but that's up to you. |
Miscellaneous: | 5 | Averaged, inaccurately, via my fingers. |
Final Score: | 24.5 | You've undeniably improved this, but you have a way to go. Good job - and good luck! |
Reviewer: | 21:30, 14 July 2008 (UTC) |