Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Keebler Elves

Main

Current

Reviewed

Archive

Guidelines

FAQ

Committee

RotM

Keebler Elves

I would like an in depth review, please. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.

Some IP fucked all this up, so please not. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.

Umm, I don't see any edits in the history other than your own. Saberwolf116 13:27, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

You see, I've never known whats wrong with that. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.

I'll get to this later today. Saberwolf116 17:24, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

If you aren't reviewing it at the moment, please take off your text. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.

Humour:	5.5	While this is an immense improvement to the article I put on VFD a few weeks back, it still needs work. From what I can gather, I spot two problems with your article as it is. First, I think your sections are too short to maintain a solid article. This is probably due to the fact that there isn't really much to write about, which i'll get into in the concept section. Second, your article itself is a little strange. Why would you call Keebler Elves and all-female pop group if there obviously male? I'd recommend adjusting your writing so that's it's more believable- for example, protraying the Keebler Elves as a rap group of a rock group or a rock group- as a general rule, your article is usually much funnier if you aren't think "what the fuck...?" while you're reading it.
Concept:	4.5	As stated above, your concept is pretty narrow because it's just kinda weird. You need to alter it so that people will laugh more than question if you're sane. Rewrite your article so it's more suited to the Keebler Elves- for example, because the Keebler Elves are all little men, write them as a rock band or rap group, with a clever play on words to fit their size. From their, write about their music, the controversey it elicts among parents, their personal lives, etc. An article about the Keebler Elves has a million different directions that you could go in, and the trick is to find one and stick to it.
Prose and formatting:	5.5	Though your prose is for the most part spot on, your main problem is that you don't have enough images to accomodate your text. Your first image kind of looks cluttered on one corner, so expand your introduction and reduce the size of your first image slightly. Formatting wise, the best thing you can do is expand each section enough to make it seem like you spent a lot of time on it, and slap an image in each of them. I also think your article would look a lot better if you got rid of the "current lives" part and gave a more satisfying conclusion- say, along the lines of bankrupcy and rehab.
Images:	6	While the images you have are decent, and fit into the article well, I stand by what I said in the P&F section- you need more of them. A few ideas I can think of for a few images are a logo of a current band altered to fit the Keebler Elves, or maybe a picture of one of them holding a guitar- these are just some ideas, so take em' with a grain of salt, and add whatever images you think will fix the article right.
Miscellaneous:	5.5	My overall grade of the article.
Final Score:	27	The best thing you can do for your article right now is to change the concept to that it freaks the user out a little less. If you want to keep music involved, you should probably make it along the lines of a pop band or a rapper. You also need a few more images and some expansion. If you haven't already, take a look at HTBFANJS- it's very helpful and might give you a few ideas of what direction to take your article in. Bottom Line: Change your concept, expand your article, and add some more images. Good luck! =)
Reviewer:	Saberwolf116 22:46, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

Resubed this. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 20:29, 16 June 2009 (UTC)