Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Imaginary Praying Mantis
Imaginary Praying Mantis[edit source]
VivClaire 20:14, 6 May 2009 (UTC)
The Imaginary Praying Mantis article has been tagged. What can we do to improve it?
| Humour: | 6 | Intro - The Hannukah thing can be improved. Maybe some examples? Though I think it should be shifted to another section (See Prose). Green, blue, red... It's just not funny. Maybe say something like "The Mantis is green and blue and red and white and looks like a hopping rainbow wanting to eat" or something. And make it clearer. Imagine a four year old reading this. Make it simpler...
Parental Concerns - Make it more straightforward. don't say "remove them... from the world". It sounds better with "remove them from the world forever bwahahaha!" Lol. Alternatively, you can adopt the professional style and try giving something like UnNews articles. Methods that Work - Think this should be in a sub-section or whatever you call that. the one with the Disclaimer - Lol. I laughed. But maybe exxageration could be good for this. Overall - Quite okay, but where does the "imaginary" fall into the whole article? |
| Concept: | 6 | Has potential, but you need to expand it. Maybe you can refer to wikipedia's Elmo article. If you use some of Elmo's features, it would be hilarious. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | Intro - PLease break up some of it and make a new section. It's too lengthy, longer than any other section.
Parental Concerns - Sub-Sections would be great. There'll be a longer section, a nicer looking article... |
| Images: | 1.14159 | Only one picture with no relevance. Neither does the caption. It's supposed to be a multicoloured praying mantis. And where's the baby? |
| Miscellaneous: | 5.0353975 | Averaged. |
| Final Score: | 25.1769875 | Can be improved. |
| Reviewer: | User:Zheliel/sigz2 16:28, 7 May 2009 (UTC) | |