Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/I am better than fish

Main

Current

Reviewed

Archive

Guidelines

FAQ

Committee

RotM

I am better than fish

User:Mrthejazz/sig 05:16, August 1, 2010 (UTC)

I guess I'll review this; certainly been in here long enough. In one earth day, you'll have a review. Give or take a time zone, anyhow. ~ (talk) (stalk) -- 20100902 - 02:59 (UTC)

Humour:	6	Initial response: o___O But anyhoo. ...I like fish. *kitty eyes* Intro - So... what hubbub and dippy do or whatwot with fish, anyhow? I hope I'm not missing something... anyways, aside from a bit short, it starts well enough. Guy's overly sure enough of himself, and the irony already presented is pretty good. I mean, judging by the diction and the... er, portrait, he's a few of those things himself. Reason 1 - A whole fish... even funnier since a whole fish probably wouldn't attract someone in the first place. But you do have a way with words and stuffs. If the mother doesn't notice, though, how would he? I mean... I dunno. I do like the BAM! though. And a general meep here. So much like the whole immigration thing... but with fish! AGH! Reason 2 - I don't hate fish. I'm not a fish sympathiser, though. I just think they're cute. Fun to play with, too... my cat would know even more about that than I would, though. But this section is unreasonable enough that reason is quite irrelevant, so... it could have even more unreasonability! Or whatever. Reason 3 - What about river and lake fish? And mudfish? The narrator guy sounds like the sort that might deal with mudfish... or not. Ah, but this section... it's completely nuts. Yup, the guy is quite the well-versed scholar. Reason 4 - Er... odd. There are so many things wrong with this section that I probably couldn't list them all if I tried. If you could somehow magically cram even more into there, I bet it could be even better, though. Reason 5 - I am reminded of a book I once read... something about weasel debating tactics. Are you familiar with those? Because this whole thing seems like that, and I distinctly remember something on comparing things to Hitler... well, this is a little different, but same sort of effect, and it seems to work just as well. Because, after all, just like fish, everyone hates Hitler. Poor fish, being all oppressed... guy should be more careful he doesn't sway people to sympathy with keywords. Oppression bad! after all. O_o Reason 6 - But if fish are only being poisonous... surely they must be doing something else, too. Gathering in bad places, shifting the volume of the sea, blocking up rivers, something... The smelling up a perfectly decent lake is a nice touch. Not very considerate of the things at all. Reason 7 - I... don't even know. Really, I don't. On one hand, it suits and leads to that wonderful image there, but on the other hand... surely there could be something better than just repetition. Or at least more... not just repetition repetition? Or something. This part seems too simple, anyhow. Repetition is a good weasel tactic, but there may be a better way to present it. But what do jews have to do with anything? That seems rather out of character, honestly.
Concept:	7	This is a strange article. Subsequently, I'm not rightly sure what to say. But as a fan of fish and fish-related randomness, I must say. This, for the title alone, is just glorious. I mean, really. Unfortunately, though, a title cannot make an article. It can make an idea of one, though, affecting how folks read the thing and varying in greatness by how well the article supports the thing... this one does live up to its idea rather well, I think. The whole idea of being better than fish is simultaneously arbitrary, obvious, uncertain, and somehow deeply philosophical, and while this doesn't even go near approaching the latter two, it works quite well with the arbitrarity and obviousness of it. The fact that the guy (evidently you, somehow) really does go out and explain it is funny in of itself, making the overall joke of the piece, and the fact that it is just so random is just nice. Somehow, though, if it could have more of the uncertainty (of the reader, in this case), say some counter arguments and whatnot crushed with the same illogical obviousness of the thing itself, perhaps it could go even further. Maybe something about the evolution of fish, how they were the ones that went and got themselves heads and other scepticism. Maybe not. I dunno about that guy (or you), but I'm not sure I'm any better than hagfish, myself. Certainly not better than cuttlefish. Those things are way smarter than I am. But that seems to be another part of the thing... the speaker doesn't exactly come across as the most intelligent or educated, and some fish really are quite brilliant... the image helps, but you could probably work even more with that. Somehow.
Prose and formatting:	5	Prose... prose prose prose prose prose... Er, what? Oh, right. Yes. This. It's mostly the tone, really. Starts out a lot more colloquial than it ends, or at least it seems to. And the whole thing doesn'T seem to entirely fit the why 'I' is better than fish. Just that fish are so bad, for the most part. For someone going on about 'I', the thing is strangely unself-centred. The sections are a little odd, too. Could probably do with more of an introduction and conclusion esepcially (maybe leave the one section as all that one line and move the concluding line to its own section for emphasis of being better than fish, at least... although given its own section, it would probably demand more to be said, so...) But it's not just that. So evenly numbered... this manner of organisation almost seems beyond the guy. A little odd... why are they numbered at all, for that matter? And the transitions bug me with the 'okay next section' stuff, too, for the record. And I noticed some of the word choice was odd. Why 'fallacy', for instance? Awful big word... Also, I think I recall a punctuation error or three. You should probably read it over for grammar whatnots alone. Intentional stuff aside, there's still punctuation and pluralisation (mermaids, for instance), comments and maybe spelling, although most of that is probably intentional. Could perhaps even use more (or more consistency of it; mostly just in the beginning as is). For that matter, the using all caps for some things for emphasis dies out, too. Shame.
Images:	6	So, the guy doesn't look the most intelligent or well-edumacated, certainly reinforcing the irony of the smarter than fish aspect of the better than fish... though that's the only image with grammatical inaccuracy in the caption; even if it's intentionally so, the inconsistency doesn't do any favours. The images are fairly good, here. The darwinists one seems a mite limp, maybe, and the pufferfish is so bloody cute I had trouble getting past that, but at least the caption suits... The blame pie chart would probably work a little better if it could be read without clicking on it, though. If you make the image bigger and the font larger and more distinct, that would help that much, at least. Not entirely sure how contemporary that is, though... I mean, it's been over 2000 years. That last image is just great, though. Such an innocuous, perhaps even beautiful school of fish, yet coupled with the text of the section, it just cracked me up. Glorious non-sequitor. While the section itself might be kind of questionable, the line does makes for an excellent image, so...
Miscellaneous:	5	Right, this score is just an overall impression... title's too epic for it to necessarily be accurate, though, so it... I dunno. On the other hand, it could just be so much more. And I think you should know that because a certain someone else went and wrote something else on fish and mentioned it, it led me off on a long illogical chase of undomesticated avians and the subsequent distraction is why this took so long. So... er. And I swear the numbers were not chosen just to try to make a pretty pattern.
Final Score:	29	Anyhow, get this featured sometime. I want to see 'I am better than fish' pasted everywhere, now, kind of like the suddenly raccoons thing. Except fish. And not suddenly. Just better. It's... like, well... this dream of mine, now. Such an epic title... The article just needs to live up to it. More. Somehow. You know? I really hope this helps, at any rate. I'm too tired to check what I wrote or say any more or remove any glaring redundancy.
Reviewer:	~ (talk) (stalk) -- 20100903 - 05:29 (UTC)