Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:become a Douche
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HowTo:become a Douche[edit source]
wats up! I made this article a few weeks back but i still feel that there's something missing. can anyone review it for me and let me know how to make it better or if it's a piece of crap.. thanks! ^^ --Kitkats 06:10, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
| Humour: | 6 | this tickled me; it has a nice flow to it (except for one non-sequitor which I’ll get to in a sec) and you’ve defiantly got some good ideas. |
| Concept: | 6 | I recently peed HowTo:Become Stupid in 21 days and this is in a similar vein in the sense of the “Why would anyone want to become a douche?” factor, so this is quite good. Also, you hint at it, douches tend to get more sex, so this may actually be useful and I think you could maybe expand in that direction a little more towards the end. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | that non-sequitor I mentioned earlier: in “lesson two” you start talking about having to sound assertive and then jump straight to being self-centred. Both are good ideas but you should give examples of how to sound like you know what you’re talking about and then introduce the idea of attention seeking. There were a few grammar errors, but I tend to correct them as I go anyway (I left “ignant” as it was because I presume it was intentional). The general formatting seems fine. Also you say in the article “There are other "Douche looks",” saying this kind of commits you to showing us these other looks, possibly in the “douche over forty” section that I am just about to suggest. |
| Images: | 7 | although I find ‘The Hoff’ intolerable, the picture of him was kind of irrelevant and didn’t have much of a link to the article, it’s also a bit small. The guy at the bottom, I don’t know who he is (if he is anyone in particular), so if that was a joke it went right over my head and maybe you could drop his name in somewhere. (it does give me the idea, that you could use, of giving a brief guide to being a douche over forty (the impression I got was this was for 18 – 25 year-olds))
I do like the “anatomy of a douche” pic, not only is he quite cute (whoever he is), but you put some effort into it labelling all he little details right down to the livestrong band (only dicks wear those). |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.5 | (averaged other scores) this is a dead end! No links add some. |
| Final Score: | 32.5 | i did like this article, was fun to read but could be a lot better. also do you fancy reviewing one of my articles? i have two on the waiting list, if you could that'd be great. |
| Reviewer: | --orian57 20:39, 24 March 2008 (UTC) | |