Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo: Poop in the Urinal
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HowTo: Poop in the Urinal[edit source]
My first article of my own. Came to me on the crapper. --LongLiverh3 22:10, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 4 | There are two main problems with your article: first, it's too short, probably an ICU. This may have to do with the fact that your concept is relatively simple, which i'll get into below. Second, your joke is mostly a one-trick pony, so it's going to be very hard to pull off a full scale article on this. I'd recommend taking a look at HowTo:Build the Perfect Sandcastle- it gives you an idea of how to take a simple concept and make it into an entire article. Right now, you don't leave much room for expansion. |
| Concept: | 3 | As stated above, your concept is very simple. The problem with making an article that was the word "poop" in the title is that it's very hard to sound mature while doing it. It takes a lot of talent to do articles like these, as most readers just think "wow, that's disgusting". Like I said, it might be better to write this from the perspective of an immature little kid who thinks it's funny- this way, it's less disgusting (also, you could stand to get some more tolerable images, more on that in the Images section). |
| Prose and formatting: | 5 | Not too good. Your images overlap into other sections, and part of your words in the "Delievery" section are cut off by the HowTo template (at least on my monitor). I'd recommend realigning the images a bit so that they look more in place, as well as finding a better place to stick that HowTo template (probably in the intro). |
| Images: | 3 | I understand it's kind of hard to avoid being gross in an article about Poop, but I think your images really just turn people off to your article- plus, no one wants to be caught looking at poop on a computer. If you're going to take my advice about concept and write this in 1st person, I suggest more mild, tolerable pictures- such as a plastic bag or an empty urinal- this way, they fit with the article well, and people can stomach them down. |
| Miscellaneous: | 4 | My overall grade of the article. |
| Final Score: | 19 | Your problem is that it's very difficult to write an article with this kind of style and concept, as it's hard to read it and not feel like a 8-year old. With the right style, however, you can pull of a, shall we say, "smart" kind of humor. Ironically, the best way you can do this is to write it from the perspective of a little kid- this way, people will be able to laugh at how dumb the kid is, and feel a little smarter themselves at the same time. Also, like I stated in the images section, make your images a little more mild, so it's less embarassing to be caught reading in a public place.
Bottom Line: A difficult article to write, and it will require a lot of work, but the end result could be fabulous if you execute it correctly. Good luck! =) |
| Reviewer: | Saberwolf116 23:29, 20 May 2009 (UTC) | |