Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Stalk your ex

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HowTo:Stalk your ex

Iamhungey 17:49, 22 June 2008 (UTC) http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/HowTo:Stalk_your_ex

Humour:	8	Yay! It looks like you’ve got a pretty nice article here. I thought it was consistently funny, and ever 'informative.' The narration was hilarious, although the one thing I had a concern with were the jokes - not that I have any better suggestions, so don’t look at me like that - I kinda felt like there was a Happy Bunny style humor going on. Totally funny, but slightly predictable. My only suggestion as far as that goes is to make it a little bit less predictable. I absolutely loved the bit about bushes - you’ve enlightened us as to how many non-bush items quickly become hidey-holes for upsetting other people. I kinda feel like you’re missing out on a few potential jokes in “Creative Measures.” You could really do something really funny in there - all of your other (dare I say it) ‘advice’ is pretty sensible, so you could really do with something off the wall there. You could probably benefit from links to strange places - not in a way it seems like a non sequitur, but maybe in that image (with the bushes) next to Step 4, you could link to Creepy opposed to Subtly. Also, I think “Further Reading” could be burnt at the stake - It really wasn’t that funny, and it seems to take up unnecessary space.
Concept:	7	A okayish concept. I wouldn’t say it’s totally original, unfortunately. I do like the way you approached something non-original, though, and made it interesting to read. It really surprises me (given the audacity and weirdness of the of the other articles) that this wasn’t written already!
Prose and formatting:	6.5	Formatting - I was really happy with your formatting except for two huge teeny-weeny things: firstly, the huge space between the two tips in Step 1, it seems really weird there, and seems to encourage violence. Secondly, the HowTo template in the middle of “Conclusion” seems really out of place. Maybe somewhere Northern would be better? GRAMMER NATZI TIME! “But some times, the object of our affection has so much trouble getting it through their thick skull that you'd cut off your own ear just for another minute in their embrace, that you're forced to do what a normal stalker never would.” I feel like this is really a run-on sentence. Good stuffs, but couldya make it two sentences instead? “They can wear pants, shirts, frilly dresses (watch out for those guys)….” A comma between ‘those’ and ‘guys’ would help. “….even designer jackets. [edit] Origin of the term stalker…” you could probably murder the ‘[edit]’ in there. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind dying. Origin of the term stalker Contrary to popular belief…” you might want to change that to this…“The origin of the term ‘stalker,’ contrary to popular belief….” “…know for no reason When…” You might want a period between ‘reason’ and ‘When.’ And then another period might be useful here: “…trans-dimensionally travel” after ‘travel.’ ”…a coffin, I’ve heard that the dark” You might want to period after ‘dark.’ “Act emo” A period might be in order after ‘emo.’ “Disappear into the sixth dimension” A period could help after ‘dimension.’ “…with a switchboard at your bedside” Put a period after ‘bedside.’ “It won’t help you, but its fun.” Wrong form of its/it’s. Switch it over to “it’s.” “(this will not work if your name is Gerard Way)” Okay, start by capitalizing ‘this’ and put a period after ‘Way.’ “They might be a nice person! (but probably won’t be)” Okay, if you really need to have that last bit on there, put it before the exclamation point, and put a period after ‘be.’ If you don’t feel compelled to save it, go ahead and behead it with the Queen tomorrow morning. “Start stalking your stalker” put a period after ‘stalker.’ “Stalkers Bible” You’ll need an apostrophe between the ‘r’ and the ‘s.’ “The Idiots Handbook To Stalking” Another apostrophe issue, this time in ‘Idiots’ between the ‘t’ and the ‘s.’
Images:	8	All of your images were totally relevant and funny, particularly the first one. You could do with some images of creepy people or something. Maybe some weird creepy guy staring like he wants go to for your throat -- that could be something.
Miscellaneous:	7.4	No comment, I used a template to average the other scores.
Final Score:	36.9	This page was genuinely funny, and I had a good time reading it. With a little bit more work, you could make a really great HowTo article. Hope this was unhelpful useful. Good luck!
Reviewer:	Love,