Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Live with UC
HowTo:Live with UC[edit source]
Got an idea, wrote it down before I lost it. It's, uh, it's really stupid. • <20:50 Jun 03, 2009>
Fear not, I should get to this by the end of today. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.
- Cool, thanks Liver. I need ideas for new sections, if that helps.
• <21:59 Jun 05, 2009>
- I will be sure to cover that. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.
- I am not done with this. I will finish tomorrow. Please do not touch. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.
- I will be sure to cover that. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.
| Humour: | 5.5 | I'll go section by section here.
Intro: 6.5/10 This is the intro, and you do a pretty solid job on it. It is very funny, and I liked the descriptive properties, using similies to help tell the story. The pic didn't fit in, though. If you are talking about how Ulcerative Colitis sucks, you shouldn't have a photo of a guy who is having fun and loves his life. You can keep the picture itself, just add a different caption, or a bit that says "However, you can still enjoy your life, even if you have UC." That would be great. Remember that you're not alone living with Ulcerative Colitis: 3/10 Short and boring without much potential. Did this section even have a joke in it? Also, read it aloud and it won't sound right. It is redundant and kind of trips over itself. Expand on it or delete it and its following sections. Even within the text, there are many things that you forget. In what ways am I not alone? Why am I not alone? Things like that will make your readers understand more about what you are talking about. Look at pictures of people dealing with UC: 8.5/10 Probably the best section in the article. It is funny, on track with the topic, and I would have liked to hear more talk about the pictures, not the people in them, but other than that you're good here. Remember that you're NOT alone living with Ulcerative Colitis: 2/10 Exactly the same as the section earlier, but I took a point off because as I said, it's exactly the same. Look at pictures of wildlife and how they pertain to Ulcerative Colitis: 6/10 Section was very funny, I liked the jokes about animals, even though I thought you could expand a bit more. One thing that worries me, is the picture. Thing's an ostrich. I thought a picture of an actual turkey could work well in here, because with the same caption, it would be very, very funny. Do I have Ulcerative Colitis?: 5/10 I added some on because it was mildly amusing and had potential. If you look at it closely, it looks like you took a paragraph and deleted all of it except for the first and last sentence. add some more text inside to make this section easily better. How do I deal with Ulcerative Colitis?: 1/10 An odd case of deja vu... Should I remember that I'm not alone?: 4/10 Actually somewhat amusing, but I don't think this joke is working out for you. Remember...: 0/10 Extremely short, pointless, and boring section that by no means belongs in this article. For a new section, I would reccomend telling some stories of people with UC. Hope that helps! |
| Concept: | 5 | Hahaha, it's been so long since I've seen one of these commercials. The execution left a little to be desired, though. Like I said, many of the sections are incomplete and/or need to be expanded on. The humor is there, you just need to emphasize on the ideas. I found myself not knowing what the concept really was. What is the idea of the article? Is it that UC sucks, or is it how to live with it, as the title suggests? If the reader knows these things, they find theirselves going hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! more than What the flying fuck was that? That is your goal as an Uncyclopedian, right? |
| Prose and formatting: | 4.5 | Prose was pretty poor. The worst formatting in the article was undoubtedly in the last pic, with the capital letters and red words combining- it was just terribly hard on the eyes, which makes your article more of a chore, than a pleasure to read. I didn't like how many of your sections are short and incomplete. Adding some more content would raise both your Hscore and this score. |
| Images: | 4 | My main concern. I will go image by image here, much in the same way I did in the Humor section:
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| Miscellaneous: | 4.8 | Averaged via the pee template. |
| Final Score: | 23.8 | Well Cajek, I have to say I'm dissapointed in you. You have gained reputation as one of the most consistently excellent contributors to the wiki, and rightfully so, but this just wasn't there. I think if you follow my advice, then put it back up on Pee Review, it would be solid, just not now. |
| Reviewer: | It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you. | |