Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Godzilla vs. Urethra
Godzilla vs. Urethra[edit source]
Yep yep. --EMC [TALK] 16:23, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
| Humour: | 6 | There are some funny bits, mostly concerned with, er, the functions of the monster Urethra. But there's a lot of action-summary as well. |
| Concept: | 7 | I like mis-named creatures. I once pondered creating the painful nymph Uræthritis to wed the Roman god Anthracite, but reconsidered and turned Anthracite into a worm. |
| Prose and formatting: | 8 | Well-written |
| Images: | 7 | Appropriate image...needs Urethra in the picture, though. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7 | Nice piece; IMHO could use some work. |
| Final Score: | 35 | |
| Reviewer: | ----OEJ 00:43, 27 September 2007 (UTC) | |
Here's my gut reaction: I got tired of reading action-summary in the main section. The 572-word synopsis stays at about the same focal distance from the action throughout, with the same level of detail.
I would recommend zooming in and out -- focusing in on the action and then backing away from it.
- George the Poo-Unicorn attacked Stinky Pus-Bear with his Horn of Malice. "Take that," he sneered, leering obscenely as his huge brown horn pierced Stinky Pus-Bear's protective slime layer.
- "BLEARGH!" groaned Stinky, quivering gelatinously in pure agony. "Oh ye saints and little fishes! Whatever am I to do!" But then -- just as George's Horn of Malice was about to impale his jelly-like heart -- he remembered his mother Ingrid's advice: Never forget your bacteria! Swiftly Stinky summoned his power of nasty infection. A battalion of staphylococcus bacteria raced up George's horn. In a trice the infected horn turned black, rotted off, and fell to the ground.
- The combatants circled, each wounded yet undefeated. The tension mounted. So did the smell.
- A moment later the battle was rejoined.
- For six hours George the Poo-Unicorn and Stinky Pus-Bear grappled fiercely. Spectators yawned. The sun went down, the moon came up. Bob Dylan made a new CD.
- Half a world away, Berlin was in flames.
- Then Stinky Pus-Bear saw something on the ground. "Hey! I dropped my iPod!" he cried.
- "Whoa," said George the Poo-Unicorn, pausing in his relentless onslaught. "Careful, you don't want to step on it. Better put it back in your slime-pocket."
- Stinky Pus-Bear bent down to pick up his iPod...and at that moment George whipped out his bulging scarlet Hemorrhoid of Consummate Evil, and --
Well, enough of that. Egads. But vary the level of detail and time-flow in the synopsis, that's my advice.
You might add a section for stuff like production notes, soundtrack credits, and so forth. And remember, a urethra's worst fear is being attacked with a catheter.
Of course you may want to ignore all this. It is just nasty, nasty advice from a nasty, nasty man. ----OEJ 00:43, 27 September 2007 (UTC)