Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Conan O'Brien (Quick, 3rd review)

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Conan O'Brien

Padddy5 20:43, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Humour:	4	Well, you've got some good jokes in there, but right now I think your article is much too random and off topic. As HTBFANJS, for an article to be funny, it usually needs to make sense. Take this line: "This resulted in a memorable episode where Pius appeared unannounced, and was interviewed by Conan, before making love to Triumph, live on air.". That isn't really funny, it's just plain weird. A guy named Pius was never the Pope, and I have no idea what the pope has to do with Late Night anyways. To make this funnier, i'd recommend coming over this article and getting rid of some of the random, stupid lines. Remember: Saying the exact opposite of reality isn't funny. Another problem that occured constantly was the improbabilities, which i'll get into the concept section.
Concept:	4	Obviously, we need an article on Conan O'Brien, as he is a very well known person. However, this article suffers from a lot of the typical problems on countries, people, and well known things. Because it's been edited by many people, it contradicts itself many times. For example: you say Conan was born in Ireland and was a kid in the 90s, yet in real life he's in his 40s and was born in the US. It's alright to stretch the truth sometimes, but when your makes absolutely no sense, it makes people think "what the hell?" while they're reading it. I'd recommend you look over this article, and mess around with the kind of language you use to describe Conan's life. Don't say he was born in Ireland, say he was born in a town similair to Ireland. Don't say he was a child in 1991, say he was a child in 1971. Little things like this makes your article much smoother and easier to read. Another problem is that you don't really have a central theme. Are you writing the article in the style of a straightfoward, encyclopedic parody? Are you writing is as if you're a fanboy? Take some time to develop your execution, style, and overall idea, and then write.
Prose and formatting:	5	There are some problems. First, you have a lot of really long paragraphs, and only a few images. This is how you should typically group an article: make a full section, a long, coherent paragraph inside of it, as well as an image on the right side of each one. From what I can see right now, your images sort of show up in the wrong places, as they overlap into several subsections due to their size. Your second problem is that, at the end you have a lists. Lists are redundant by nature, and as such should be avoided at all costs. Quotes are also something we don't really do anymore, as most of the time they aren't really that funny. Basically, get rid of that last sections altogether, and write a more fitting conclusion.
Images:	5.5	Strange. Relevant to the article in some way, but still very weird. Your first image kind of jumps out at me and screams "WTF", so you might want to replace it with a standard image of Conan, like the one from masturbation. Your second image is OK, but it has a random, unrelated caption. Change the caption to something like "Conan with one of his many monkeys" or something along that lines. Your last image, like the first, is just weird. Change that one to an image of Conan interviewing a guest, like the one with Will Ferrell from the Wikipedia article.
Miscellaneous:	4	My overall grade of the article.
Final Score:	22.5	This is a little more coherent and less crappy then something of typical people articles, but it's still random and a bit weird. To recap what i've said above: make sure you have a style and direction that you want to take the article in, and write it so that it makes sense when you read it. Those are the two big things. This article, unlike many, is not an irredemable pile of crap. Inf ace, this was has a lot of potential, so I strongly encourage you to take my advice and keep working on it. Bottom Line: Find a coherent direction, eliminate the last section, and write it so that it's plausible. Good luck! =)
Reviewer:	Saberwolf116 16:12, 15 June 2009 (UTC)