| Humour:
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7
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Section by section review:
- Introduction - You do a downright excellent job starting this article out. You give us who he his, what he did any why would should know hi. This is a very solid paragraph. However, I must admit I didn't laugh, or even smile. Yes, you can write in a good, serious manner, but we're going to need some haha's to fall for your article. It isn't that important to have a good laugh or two in the intro, but, it does draw readers into your article. If you have a bad or boring intro, people might ust go "meh" and walk off without paying attention whatsoever. I know because I do that. So my suggestion is: How about cracking a joke in the intro? Other than that though, excellent writing and explaining. I could have that picture be a little bit smaller, though.
- Childhood - Once again you have a vey solid paragraph here. Very well writtten. And, I alos laughed a little bit in this section. THat is an improvement to the introduction the humour area. However, I have a confusing point here. If he was born in Ireland and lived in Ireland, then why was Britain going after thim for writing his sketch? Wouldn't it be Ireland? I was slightly confused by that, as well as him having to leave Ireland because of Britain. If this is intentional, I don't think I'm getting it, or maybe it was a mistake. But, that is my only complaint. Good job with this section.
- Emerging Talent - This is a good section as well. You wrote it unbelievebaly well (I wish I could write that good, but I can't) , as usualy. Also, you have a good idea where Americans laugh non stop with this guy, mainly because they do. WE laugh at anything... even that stupid new Night at the Museum movie. I hope to movie dies and burns in hell, that piece of shi-- oh, what was I saying? Right right. We laugh a lot. Enough said. Good job. My onr comlaint for this part of the article is when you mention who discovered him... it was quite annoying in my opinion. I think you should... remove the three periods and get straight to the fact. You know? It makes the paragraph flow easier. Apart from that though, this is a good section.
- Late Night: The Crap Years - This is where your writing kind of slipped. All of the other sections were excellent, as I mentioned above, tbut this one was confusing and hard to understand. It also got kind of stupid nearing the end, with the mention of Mr. T and a dog. Then you said it was hilarious, but not funny. Like I said, this part was confusing, so You should probably take out anything you may find confusing and replace it with something more simple.
- Late Night: The Good Years: - In this section, you started us very well. However, once you got past that, it started to slip into stupidity. It wasn't hard to understand, like above, but the idea of him running around killing old people on the set is just... meh. I suggest you change that around, considering it isn't that funny and it takes up nearly the whole paragraph. This was probably the weakest section in the article, but it is one of the most important. Everyone knows Conan from his greatness on the show, and then you sort of screwed it all up. You have to fix this section up. Intsead of just pointing out one thing he did, note several skits and why they were funny. Do keep the first sentence, though. It was very good.
- Humour - This section was very well written, except a couple random sentences. It seems as though you have completely lost your writing style in the sections and replaced it with a less experienced, more "Look at this joke!" style. The most noteable in this section are the part where you do the Conanciding, which should definitely be removed, the part where you say I have a penis and you have that outburst, that should be deleted as well. However, if get rid of thosse sections, your paragraph would be much better and more like your previous ones.
- Off Stage Personality - This section was in fact well written. You did a good job, and that parnoid quote is just golden. However, the last sentence has that outburst, and that sor to fkills the whole paragraph. Like I said before, you should probably ditch that sentence, well, not probably, you should, and then your paragraph will complete and much better.
- Future This paragraph has the same problem as the other two. It is well written, it is downrgith awesome, except for that deranged outburst. I knowit's in a quote, but still, it completely ruined the paragraph. You should remove it, maybe just have it "I know I'm really funny and bill o'rielly rich, but I want more. ", which isn't so weird. Also, get rid of the caps with the part with the Thousand years, thing, it doesn't make your article look so spazzed. Good job ending it, though, beside the random out burts.
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| Concept:
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8
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Well, the overall idea, Conan, is pretty basic. I'm not going to mark you down for that, though, because someone has to write about the famous people. Also, your concepts within the article are good as well. However, some get sort of sloppy, but you mostly keep it in line. Like I said, the idea of him whipping old people in the Good years section was just like "What?". You should change that around. Also, change some of the confusing things in the bad years, and try to do something with the British and Ireland up at the beginning for me. Other than those three though, the rest of your concepts are pretty decent. I like how you have americans look so stupid and how they laugh at everything (So true!). So, just fix up those three minor flaws, and your concepts are fine. Excellent job with the concepts!
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| Prose and formatting:
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8.5
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Ok, let's get going here. I didn't notice that many mistake swith yor formatting. One problem I had though, was the fact that the first picture was so big... I should probably say this in the image section, and I will again, but lower the pixels, dude. That image sort of scared me. I have few other complaints other than that one. The first: Could you sghorten up the subsection title for the good years? It's pretty long, and the line isn't even all that funny. I think it is best to remove it so it doesn't take up so much space. Also, I think you should move the wikipedia template further up towards the top, instead of having it at the bottom. I don't know why, but I think it is traditional to have it towards the top. Or maybe I'm just insane. Anyhow, I suggest you do it anyway.
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| Final Score:
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36.6
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Ok, let's look at what you need to do. You have solid idea, you just need to change somethings around.
- Get rid of the strange outbursts and confusing concepts. - DOing this will spike th quality of your article. Well, actually, it probably won't spike, but it will be better.
- Change the pics around - This means changing the captions and maybe adding another one.
So, you have a pretty good article here, which means you don't have much to work on. However, you do have some, so good luck!
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