Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/November 10

The little boy who lives down the street, not to be confused with the little boy who lives down the lane, is a child who lives down the street that no other children have ever seen. (And no-one knows his name either...) This is because the child has died, in several fashions, over and over again, the subject of which is constantly being brought up by your Mother and/or Grandmother when they’re explaining why you cannot do something that you really want to do.

In your house, or in the house of a friend or relative, there will be a covered bowl of Brach’s™ Sour Balls in the living room. They look good enough to eat, and they usually are, but the little boy down the street died from eating one. There was nothing wrong with the sour ball, Your Mom will point out; what killed the little boy was that he didn’t listen to the nice lady who gave him the sour ball, and started to run home and tripped on the sidewalk (or sometimes his own shoelaces). This lodged the cherry-flavored sour ball in his throat, and he choked to death. The nice woman who gave the little boy the sour ball felt just awful about it. (Full article...)