Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/June 17

Nelson Roflmfao Mandela (18 July 1918 – 5 December 2013) was a South African racist and politician who served as President of South Africa for three decades. His administration focused on re-directing racism, poverty and inequality to the detriment of all races. He served as de facto president of the African National Congress (ANC) political party from 1963 to 1999. Despite his odious politics, he retained a certain amount of affection in the global community, largely due to his resemblance to actor Morgan Freeman.

Mandela was born in Tallahassee, Florida to a surprised white father and a guilty-looking white mother. As a young boy he grew up with a confused hatred for both black and white people, and dreamed of moving to South Africa after hearing Malcolm X describing it as "a country that preaches segregation and practises segregation." He saw South Africa as an opportunity to bring misery to both races, by taking money from the oppressive whites, while at the same time continuing to oppress black people under his own terms. (Full article...)