Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/August 27

[a black screen]

JOHN TRAVOLTA: Ya know, I never really liked cold openings in movies.

[the no-longer-black screen reveals John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, and Bruce Willis sitting in a diner]

SAMUEL L. JACKSON: ’ The fuck’s a cold opening?

BRUCE WILLIS: Damned if I know.

JOHN TRAVOLTA: A cold opening is when a movie, just, you know, just starts, outta fuckin’ nowhere.

SAMUEL L. JACKSON: Ah, you mean that narrative technique that motherfucker Quentin Tarantino is fond of using?

JOHN TRAVOLTA: The very same.

SAMUEL L. JACKSON: A-heh-ha-hah…Quentin Tarantino. Now that motherfucker’s a real motherfuckin’ motherfucker.

BRUCE WILLIS: No fuckin’ shit.

JOHN TRAVOLTA: Hey guys?

BRUCE WILLIS: What?

JOHN TRAVOLTA: Let’s pull out our guns and start yelling.

SAMUEL L. JACKSON: Fine by me.

JOHN TRAVOLTA: WE HAVE FUCKING GUNS!

SAMUEL L. JACKSON: Damn motherfuckin’ right we do, motherfuckers!

[freezeframe; fast-paced surfer-rock begins playing] (Full article...)