Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/August 26

In a surprise result, a British rider has snatched cycling victory from the French on their home ground. This in spite of most of the UK team encountering an impassable barrier literally within sight of the finish line.

As the victorious Wiggins commented, "The [British] team are superb cyclists but seemingly hadn't ever taken part in the finishing stage of a Tour before, and presumably didn't know what conditions to expect as they neared the line. Thus, a tactial blunder led to them being delayed for several hours, in fact until the race was over and the crowds had dispersed. Meanwhile, I and my race-buddy Cavendish understand well the conditions here and know how to play the game by French rules. Therefore we just sailed past my teammates to victory."

It seems that problems for other British riders had started on the approach to the finishing line in central Paris, when they were faced with a lengthy delay at the Rue de Tivoli pedestrian crossing. "We were dutifully waiting for the red, and for some people to start crossing in front of us," commented the team leader after the race, "but it never came. What we hadn't appreciated was that the lights had been turned off for the race." Eventually a race official went over and told them to proceed. This simple misunderstanding had cost them most of their hard-won lead over the French, but victory could have still been theirs, given no more mishaps. (Full article...)