UnReactions:Spiral (trailer)

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Intro[edit | edit source]

So I'm a huge Saw fan. I'm the person who's gonna create the Saw category, as soon as I'm done with this reaction right here. This is the official Uncyclopedia reaction for the trailer to SPIRAL, FROM THE BOOK OF SAW, a.k.a. SAW IX, a.k.a. THE ORGAN DONOR, a.k.a. JIGSAW II, a.k.a. WTF I CAN'T WAIT TO START MY VERY OWN REACTION ON UNCYCLOPEDIA. My name is Jeangu Macrooy and I'm about to represent the Netherlands in the upcoming Eurovision Song Contest 2021 final, which will take place in Rotterdam, a few days after SPIRAL came out.

MY REACTION[edit | edit source]

Wow. Chris isn't looking a lot like a dude who is cool with cutting off his own hand. This trailer doesn't give up much about the plot. Chris is talking with another cop about family matters. I didn't catch any of that.

I'm not even sure if this should be a reaction to the trailer or to what's about to be in the film? Reactions are lame. And in music reactions, they never talk about the lyrics. I mean, NEVER. It's like, if I would react to my Eurovision song, I would do some shit like this: Hey, you know my broccoli. My broccoli is da shit, man. No way my broccoli isn't going to win this motherfucka contest.

Yes. I'm singing about my broccoli in the song. I'm singing about a new age which will follow COVID, in which people will eat much less broccoli, and other green vegetables. A new age in which my broccoli will no longer gross out my mouth with its terrible taste. You know my broccoli, man. It's just totally gross. What the hell is that? Some kind of pickled frog semen?

So if you love my fucking broccoli as much as I do, which is 0 out of 5, you must hate my fucking song just as much. But don't tell anybody how much you hated my broccoli. Just go ahead and watch the Eurovision Song Contest and vote for fucking Netherlands. Because we deserve to host the Eurovision Song Contest next year again, but in a normal way. With a big audience cheering and cool after parties.

Just like American people want to watch SPIRAL in the theater, non-Americans want the Eurovision to be cool again. A real concert, with an orchestra and a stagedive option.

This is probably the last reaction anyone will ever do for this site. That was the trap all along, actually. The trap made you understand how lame reactions really are.

Now listen to the song that should win the Eurovision and watch SPIRAL in your living room, like a normal human being.

“Game Over, Motherfucka.”

 Samuel L. Jackson