UnPoetia:Divorce Song

Poetry for people who hate poetry

Divorce Song was written by a surprisingly cultured alcoholic divorcee as an alternate version of Shakespeare's Bridal Song.

Your rose, all its delight being gone

Not repulsive in its smell alone

But in its hue

Ashen grey, of odour strong;

Like fishes dead-so very wrong,

You know it's true

Dylan, bastard child of ours

Broken condom’s consequence

With his dim brain

Kyle, in his cradle howling

Jane in her pink-frilled bedroom scowling…

That time again.

Custody of our children so un-sweet

Lies ‘fore my divorce attorney’s feet

I want it not!

Want I a life of alcohol strong

And placing my manhood long

Into hooker hot

The pansy-ass, lie-filled love poems by

That long-haired, nancy-boy guy

No more shall I read

I shun their One Girl bullshit advice

And shall unto every girl what looks nice

Spilleth my seed