UnNews:World to hold joint anti-terror war games in Syria

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

12 May 2012

Soldier prepares for the Great UN War to usher in world government and foster relations between bankers

TARTUS, Syria -- Russia, China, India, Pakistan, Iran, the United States, Germany, France, UK, other countries in the European Union not important enough to name, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia and all other countries in the Middle East and else where not important enough to mention -- who are all members of the United Nations, are holding their first ever joint anti-terror military exercises on Syrian territory.

Varied groups of multinational UN paratroopers have taken off to Tartus in Syria, which hosts a Soviet Era naval base that is still staffed by Russians affiliated with peace-monger Vladimir Putin. All units of United Nations Special Forces will be taking part in the live-fire exercises. Participants will first familiarize themselves with each others munitions, communications, reconnaissance equipment, parachute systems and types of landing operations in order to gain the upper hand and neutralize more efficiently.

Servicemen from Russia, China, India, Pakistan, Iran, America, Germany, France, England, other countries in the European Union not important enough to name, plus Bahrain, Saudi Arabia and all other nations in the Middle East and else where not important enough to mention, will jointly practice interactive weapons and Geiger Counter drills. They will also conduct courses in demolition techniques, including urban thermo-nuclear.

At the end of the exercises it is estimated that most cities will raise the Federal terror warning level to Black, indicating the need for motivational training in which all participants are herded into reeducation camps and programmed to locate, seize and destroy international “terrorists.”

In the context of this exercise a terrorist is defined as a combatant, a conspiracy theorist, an Uncyclopedian, a feckless civilian, or anyone who holds a view opposite of another.

Sources[edit | edit source]