UnNews:Uzbekistan Eases Disco Dancing Restrictions
Monday, February 16, 2026
Today, Uzbekistan announced historical changes to its disco dancing ban. Uzbekistanians with superb disco dancing skills would be allowed to disco dance at work rather than be sent to government disco dancing rehabilitation facilities. Officials would no longer require Square Dancing and spelling tests, nor the ubiquitous 'Funky Seagull' demonstration, to enter public discos or travel via gondola between the many of Uzbekistan's discos. Dance-offs are no longer limited to individual discotheques, work cafeterias, and Ear, Nose, and Throat clinics.
Mike Gibbons, Deputy Head of Uzbekistan's 'Center for Disco Control' and one of Uzbekistan's key disco dancing advisers, predicts that 95% of Uzbekistanians might be overwhelmed with the uncontrollable urge to disco dance in the expected initial surge of disco dancing similar to what occurres as Australia loosened its policies and lightenes the hell up. "Sheesh! It's about time!" said Gibbons. "What took 'em so long? What idiot's in charge over there?!".
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