UnNews:USA comes to a standstill as Dafyd Beckshat arrives
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
16 July 2007
LOST ANGELES, California -- SCOTTISH SOCCER SUPERSTAR David Bishtwat arrived on our shores this week in spectacular fashion, Unnews Hollywood correspondent Giles Turd was there to witness the advent of "Buckfast-mania" on the shores of the United States in America!
Known to millions in Europe as Soccer's "Mr Homo-erotic"', ' David "Bicsh" Bumhat finally arrived in Los Angeles to a frenzy of hysteria not seen since JFK was shot in the head and killed. With the Irish star was his sexy boyfriend Victor "Piss Space" Beckump, and what a picture of style he was by the way. Also accompanying the pair were their three adopted Indonesian monkeys Crud, Bronx and MacBeth.
The LA Daily Gay News seems to capture the mood of most USA fans: "When it was announced in January that David Brickfart would be coming to the United States, the news was greeted across the pond in much the same way as a Mother might react when her child is sick over a sexy new neglige she bought for her secret Canadian lesbian lover."
No more than 10 fans watched his official unveiling as an LA Galaxy player in a Wal-Mart car park on Friday afternoon. One such fan typified the mania that now follows Damon Bickshitt wherever (s)he goes, "who is the bald Brit woman with the false teeth and no eyebrows?"
"She is one pretty lady aint she?"
Sources[edit | edit source]
- GO DAVIS, GO GO GO YAAAAY! "woooooh" BBC, July 16, 2007
