UnNews:Trump would/wouldn't flip changes US history

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Sunday, July 22, 2018

[Not] the President of the United States.

Four days after President Donald Trump explained away his claims that Russia was likely innocent of meddling in the 2016 election by claiming a negative was missing from the sentence, other US presidents are following suit.

Trumps initial exoneration, "I don't see any reason why it would be [Russia]", drew much criticism from both Republicans and Democrats, leading to his eye-raising suggestion that the word "not" was missing from the sentence, is all. However, the strategy found supporters among former US presidents, who took the opportunity to address some of their historical mishaps.

  • George W Bush: "We did not find the weapons of mass destruction,"
  • Bill Clinton: "I did not not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky."
  • Richard Nixon: "I am not not a crook."
  • John Kennedy: "I do not get a migraine headache if I don't get a strange piece of ass every day."

Trump's revision was the latest example of his revolutionary approach to speech-making, which includes freeform sentence structure, endless digression from the question at hand, cheerful contradictions, innuendos and insults. President George Bush was said to be particularly inspired by the latest move, and is hopeful of finding a way to remove the negative from his famous quote: "Read my lips: no new taxes" but there is less hope for Ronald Reagan's estate's chances of removing all the negatives from, "We did not — repeat, did not — trade weapons or anything else for hostages - nor will we."


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