UnNews:The 'Blair babes': Where are they now?

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

9 May 2007

Ex Labour MP Florence Harringbone, with her lesbian wife yesterday

THE 101 WOMEN LABOUR MPS - or Blair "Foxy" Babes as they were called - were all smiles and waves in 1997, flanking the newly-elected Tony Blair. Never before had there been so many women in Parliament, let alone from one party. The sexy bevy of buxom beauties arrived full of hope, but what became of them?

Controversial Unnews columnist Barry Cumquat has spent the best part of an hour investigating an answer to just that sort of question and caught up with a few of the lovely ladies to see what they are up to now:

Christine McCafferty (Calder Valley) - Quit the world of politics in 1998 stating that, "my husband informed me that it really wasn't on that I was more important than him, which is fair enough really. It is a medical fact that the female brain is not designed for important 'non domestic orientated' things".

Helen Liddell (Airdrie & Shotts) - Ms Liddell quit politics to "have babies and start up a home Tupperware business". Between Tupperware parties Liddell is a dedicated housewife and mother of seventeen children. On quitting Liddell said that "all this feminism nonsense is too much for my (smaller than male) brain."

Bridget Prentice (Lewisham East) - On leaving office Ms Prentice said, "I have found that my brain is not biologically adept at all this political shenanigans and is best left to the menfolk of this country." Ms Prentice is currently living in the Scottish highlands with her hairy legged lesbian lover.

Alice Mahon (Halifax) - Quit politics in 2001 to become a glamour model for seedy European magazine "Old Ugly British Trollops". She is currently residing in Holland working in a freak show as a Bearded Lady.

Judith Church (Dagenham) - Also stood down in 2001 after an extreme attack pf PMT, "Just FUCKING STAY OUT OF MY WAY YOU BASTARDS", she said after storming out of parliament.

Jackie Lawrence (Preseli Pembrokeshire) Was last seen trying to park her car in a multi-story carpark in Glasgow, she has not been seen since.

Joan Ruddock (Lewisham Deptford) - A high-profile Greenham Common protester, is currently serving 25 years in prison for genocide.

And so it appears that a common theme has emerged in the years since the ladies took office with delusions of grandeur. The common theme is that the fairer sex should, perhaps, know their place in society. The responsibilities of office clearly are too much for a brain, that through evolution, is best suited to home making and giving of sexual pleasure to men.

Sources

• Know your place! "Where's my tea WOMAN!" BBC, May 08, 2007