UnNews:Study: The more you hit a child with a hammer the less it cares
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4 July 2013
Groundbreaking research from Stanford University has concluded that the more you hit a child in the head with a hammer the less they seem to care.
The study proves that hitting children with a hammer only bothers them to a certain point, and that after several strikes children stop their complaining, whining, and breathing, the three things that many parents say annoy them the most.
This is all contrary to the prevalent belief that hitting a child, especially with a hammer, will only make them cry more and that you should instead practice loving but stern parenting. The study proves that if a parent is persistent with the "hammer to the head" technique that they will eventually see results such as described above.
Researchers have also made several other conclusions, such as that the claw end of the hammer is more effective than the flat end and that children who resist the hammer to the head technique are often those who most need the hammer to the head technique. They have also advised parents to introduce their children to the hammer technique as early as possible for maximum obedience, but they have warned that parents should only hit their kids in the head with a hammer when they are disobedient and that they should never do it out of anger.
They also advise parents to wash the hammer after every use.