UnNews:Steenkamp was burglar

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

21 March 2014

A re-enactment of the possible events leading up to the shooting.

New evidence unearthed in the Oscar Pistorius trial indicates that model and television presenter Reeva Steenkamp was in fact a professional con-woman and was working the long con to steal valuables stashed in Pistorius’ toilet.

A key witness summoned by the defence, an alleged ex-accomplice of Steenkamp, has testified against Steenkamp and revealed a wealth of previously unknown information about her. Allegedly, Steenkamp’s real name is “Mitch Connor” and she has been conning paralympians for years in an attempt to steal valuable gold medals and expensive prosthetic limbs.

Mitch Connor is described as a master of disguise, who could alter her appearance and personality dramatically to her advantage. Connor had heard rumours of a pair of solid-gold diamond encrusted legs Pistorius keeps stashed in a secret compartment in his bathroom. This could explain why Pistorius is so protective over his toilet.

If this new line of enquiry is confirmed then the shooting could be deemed to have been lawful and Pistorius would be set free.

Pistorius’ legal council is also considering the notion that his bathroom door is a grue and was about to consume Miss Steenkamp anyway. It was dark; they were likely to be eaten by a door.

The case continues...

See also

UnNews:Oscar Pistorius 'was legless' when he shot girlfriend