UnNews:Son kills father in Japan
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
10 April 2013
Today on the west coast of Japan, a fifteen-year-old boy harpooned his father. The boy has not been named but we can reveal the name of the father, 45-year-old Miso Harni a marketing director for Nintendo. Police believe that the boy accidentally harpooned his father but decided to make the most of his mistake. The boy skinned and sliced his father and sold parts of him at the local market for $40. Police also believe he is spotty, prone to mood swings and carrying a harpoon. There is a $500 reward for catching him.
No one is really sure how the boy mistook his father for a whale, but according to Miso's wife, Iso Hsrni, he had been putting on a lot of weight recently. "He was fired from his job at Nintendo after talking to some reporter and he was really depressed and turned to eating."
However, Iso's daughter, Weso, believes that her brother was really trying to kill Miso. "He was so angry at dad for not letting him play with his Wii he told dad he would throw the first Puu he could find at dad."
"The Horni family are very sad and depressed at this moment," said Officer Chung Hao.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- IFYMB!, "Horror! Brazilian teen accidentally shoots brother in face with harpoon after mistaking him for fish" New York Daily News, 8 April 2013