UnNews:Singer Thicke charged with 172,451 counts of rape

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

23 September 2013

“Yo Robin, I'm really happy for you and I'mma let you finish, but Miley Cyrus is the greatest sex singer of all time!”
~ A sign held up by a booing Kanye West after Thicke's performance, plus by Miley Cyrus herself on Blurred Lines

Thicke's outfit at the VMA awards had caused concern as to his moral influences.

Robin Thicke, whose Blurred Lines single took the charts by storm this summer, has been charged as an accessory to rape in more than 172,451 cases - making him the most notorious sex criminal of all time.

State prosecutors claim that the Canadian singer's song amount to incitement, with lyrics of unprecedented graphic content, such as "I know you want it" and "you're a good girl". He was duly charged with every reported rape in North America since the release of the single.

Record industry chiefs are said to be reeling at the news, as Thicke's single was the only song of the entire year which turned a profit. One source told us, "Everyone is panicking. If dubious sexual references and casual misogyny are off limits, this could spell the end of R 'n' B and rap."

As he was led away to the notorious Sorebut penitentiary in Arkansas, Thicke told swarming reporters, "I don't understand! I don't understand! What's happening? This is bullshit! Pharrell [Williams, the song's producer] told me the nastier the song and the video, the better. He made Lapdance for God's sake!

"I knew you wouldn't let a 36-year-old Canadian be famous! I knew it!"