UnNews:Prisoners released to "aid war effort"
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
1 March 2007
LONDINIUM, UK - The Home Office was today embroiled in fresh embarrassment after it emerged they were forced to release hundreds of dangerous criminals by a House of Lords ruling. In a statement read this morning Lord Forkesmyth III said, "with those bloody Germans coming across the channel any minute we need every able bodied man we can muster by jove!"
A group of Lords were seen this morning huddled in a corner wearing tin hats and looking warily up at the sky, "They'll will be bombing London next, you mark my words!" said Lord Latheringtonshire IV, "I'm bloody sh###ing my self and I'm not afraid to admit it!" he added.
When asked about the ruling Latheringtonshire was unrepentant, "do you not know there's a war on man! I just hope the boys in the RAF can hold the Krauts off! If you want your children to be bought up speaking French you just keep burying your head in the sand."
Unfortunately, due to ancient laws the government have no power over the House of Lords and their evidently increasing senility. Youngest member, Lord Giles Harringtonfyth, 102, was however less than supportive of the latest ruling, "eh, what? is that you Rupert? did I ever tell you what lovely eyes you have darling? You must be more discrete though, our trysts in Hyde Park must remain between us my love, if my wife finds out my balls will be in a jar!", he said last night.
An exacerbated Home Office spokesman said, "it seems a few of these moth eaten, senile old cretins are under the miscomprehension that its 1940 or something!"
- eh? "wassat?" in my day, 01 03, 2007