UnNews:Prince Harry to visit Iraq, UK glad
|
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
30 April 2007
London, Britain Prince Harry has long been a black mark on the UK with his antics. In fact, some had been heard to remark that his actions were "Disgraceful, shameful, despicable, and edible". The British Army had secretly planned to assassinate the Prince, but the plan was stopped when another path was opened up.
"We thought, how could we get rid of Harry?" says one Army Captain. "We originally planned to just stage an assassination on him while he was taking a crap, but many of us wanted something more creative." The Army soon came up with an almost foolproof plan to dispose of the unwanted prince. "We thought, where could we put him? Then we remembered the Americans in Iraq!"
Prince Harry will be shipped out to Iraq as soon as his training is finished. He has two more weeks at boot camp, to complete the MacGyver cource, during which he will be learning how to fashion a tank out of discarded garbage, and how to disarm an IED (Imploding Edible Dog) with nothing more then an IED disarming kit.
When this was announced to the general public, the Brits responded with enthusiasm. "We were sick and tired of that little bastard, I hope he gets sploded!" replied one local when asked about the deployment. "Plus, the farther away he is from us, the more distance exists between us and him."
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Associated Press "Army Chief: Harry will go to Iraq" CNN, April 30, 2007
- Some British army Guy "We're kicking his ass out!" UK Armed Forces, April 30, 2007