UnNews:Pilot sues airline as Captain dies during flight
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
25 June 2012
SEATTLE, Washington -- We've all been there, you are eating your bun with whatever else they served and you glance across to see that seat 42c has died. This growing problem has now reached the cockpit.
It was a normal flight like any other for First Officer Kaplin; the flight attendants were gorgeous as usual, the weather was fine and they were on schedule.
The Oregon to Washington flight was the third that day for Kaplin and his colleague, Captain Trent. They had started their working day in San Francisco and were looking forward to going out that evening together.
When the usually talkative Trent failed to speak for a while, First Officer Kaplin thought nothing of it; we all have quiet moments. When Captain Trent left his food uneaten in the tray on his lap, Kaplin again imagined the Captain must not be in the mood to eat. It was when Captain Trent fell to his right and onto the center console, that First Officer Kaplin began to suspect something was wrong. "I noticed he slumped over and I helped him sit upright and said 'you are too tired today man, know how it is.' Kaplin continued with his duties but noticed the Captain now had his face against the control panel. "Then I KNEW, I just... he fights tears: "I KNEW he was tired."
First Officer Kaplin then told his buddy he would handle the landing and the Captain should relax. The plane landed and all was normal with the plane. Kaplin left the plane and told the Captain they would meet later as planned. It was when Captain Trent failed to appear at their chosen bar that Kaplin knew something terrible had happened. "I thought he forgot"
Kaplin then went looking for the Captain and went all the way back to the airport. Nobody had seen the Captain and so he ventured back to the plane to find the Captain STILL sitting in his seat. "I was confused as the checklist doesn't take that long after we land." Kaplin radioed for help and soon after was told the shocking news that the Captain was dead. "No, I can't believe it. He was so full of life, he seemed tired and I'm amazed they would let a dead pilot on the flight to begin with."
A major investigation is underway today as Kaplin plans to sue the unnamed Airline. We spoke to a shocked P.R Officer for the airline who told us: "We are deeply disturbed at today's event. A full investigation is underway to find out how the hell we employed a pilot as dumb as this guy. We take our recruiting process seriously." When asked about the pilot's death? "That will come later, we are still too in shock to deal with that. Just to have landed the plane in a straight line is making us perplexed. We will in the future interview pilots to know if their accent is educated or Hick."