UnNews:Palin wildly popular with middle class white conservative Christian women

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

30 September 2008

TULSA, OKLAHOMA (UNN) - With her popularity waning follow several key interviews, polls conducted by Oral Roberts University suggest that Alasaka Governor Sarah Palin is wildly popular with white, middle age, Christian American women who see themselves in the Republican Party's Vice Presidential candidate.

"She is just so nice and well spoken and she scrubs up well," said Whillowmena Young, a fifty-six year old grandmother of six from Branson, Missouri. "When I see her up on that stage I take pride in knowing that she is up there, just like I could have been if life would have taken a duifferent route."

Gaining the support of conservative women in the 35-65 demographic was one of the driving forces in John McCain's selection of Palin, says Mandy Johnson, spokesperson for McCain's campaign.

"Republican's normally get this demographic, however we wanted to be certain that that they understood that John McCain understands them, appreciates them and wants their vote," said Johnson. "And there is a very real probility that once Barack Obama wins that the Black Man will feel empowered, and take revenge for almost 400 years of repression by carrying off white women ages 35-65 for their animalistic sexual hunger. Our intelligence confirms this; a John McCain-Sarah Palin administration is the only thing that stands between certain rape of mothers and grandmothers by the Black Man and law and order."

For its part, the Obama campaign disagrees with the McCain statement. "Our people are not out to get white women. Its Whitey himself that our people want to castrate."

Palin's popularity is highest in Canada where Hockey Moms outnumber Soccor Moms 2:1

Sally McDougal of Kichener, Ontario agrees. "Oh, yah, Sarah Palin is tops with us north of the border! You know that she's good folk - positivly tip-top!"