UnNews:Optimus Prime ressurected, Rodimus relieved.

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

13 December 2007

Autobots across the galaxy breath a sigh of relief as the famed Autobot leader, none other than Optimus Prime himself, reawakens. Sources say that Prime is "happy to be alive again", and "we can win the fight against Galvatron". Many Cybertronians remember Optimus's heroic death in the Battle of Autobot City against his arch-nemesis Megatron. In the aftermath of the fight, Optimus passed the Matrix to his friend and follower Ultra Magnus, before it was stolen by Galvatron, the recreated and improved version of Megatron. But as the threat of Unicron loomed, Hot Rod transformed into his alter-ego, Rodimus. Now, with the help of Quintesson technology and a daring human rescue, Optimus's reanimated corpse was plucked from a fiery death in deep space by a human shuttle. Many Autobots are glad to see Optimus Prime back in charge, as leadership over the past years has been "sporadic, poor", says Blurr, and that Rodimus was "kind of a prick" explained Blaster. However, Rodimus himself is relieved that his tour of duty is over and he can get back to his normal life.

With the Matrix gone, Hot Rod says he may consider a career in accounting.

"I don't believe it," says Galvatron, current leader of the Decepticons. "I mean, fighting Rodimus was pretty damn easy, just steal his Matrix and he's Hot Rod again." Galvatron plans to step up the anti-Autobot campaign amongst his followers. "It's pretty unfair" says Decepticon follower Cyclonus. "In the nick of time, the Autobots always seem to be able to bring back their leader, but ours dies, and we're stuck with this freaking insane tyrant." Cyclonus denied further comment.

"It's quite a relief", says current leader Rodimus Prime. "With Optimus back, I can hand over the Matrix and hopefully be relieved of this burden". Ever since Hot "Rodimus" Rod "lit our darkest hour" in the heart of Unicron, he has led the Autobots for several years, though he has made some execeptionally poor choices throughout his career. However, Hot Rod may go back to college and complete his master's degree in accounting. Hot Rod's mentor and friend Kup is happy about this choice, but wonders if accounting is the right thing. Only time will tell if he is successful.