UnNews:Mia Farrows Brother, "Finally Dead"
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
17 June 2009
VERMONT - In an extremely rare moment, Mia Farrow was snapped today sporting a smile. When asked what the source of her happiness was, she responded, "My brother was found murdered last night." Farrow, known for her normally morose character and unflinching melancholy facial expression, hasn't been known to smile since she found out that Woody Allen's Viagra prescription quit working, over 3 years ago. Farrow who had a long relationship with Allen, split with him several years ago over a disagreement over her adopted daughter, Soon-Yi Previn. At the time, Farrow was reported to have said, "I hope he becomes impotent and dies, but not necessarily in that order."
Authorities are investigating what they're calling a "Suspicious Farrow Smile," and the death of sculptor Patrick Farrow, whose body was discovered Monday night on the premises of the gallery and studio space he owned in Castleton, Vt., not far from the New York state border.
Vermont State Police tell the Burlington Free Press that officers arrived at the Farrow Gallery and Studios after receiving an unusual 911 call from a woman, identified only as "Mia", at around 11:30 p.m. A transcript of the call read like the ramblings of an "angst-ridden neurotic," according to an anonymous police source by the name Seargent Bill Brannaman.
The Office of the Chief Medical Examiner in Burlington will be conducting an autopsy when he returns from vacation next week, and will be providing more information at some point after the completion of the exam. He has asked that the murder victim's body be placed on ice until he returns from the Virgin Islands. He also requested that Ms. Farrow identify the body before his return, as she, "freaks me out, and I'd rather not be around when she comes to the lab."
Patrick, 66, was Mia Farrow's older brother and one of seven siblings born to author John Farrow and actress Maureen O'Sullivan.
A Facebook page, purportedly belonging to Patrick Farrow, stated "Early on my imagination was stimulated by years spent on movie sets in Hollywood and Europe as a result of my parents' professions. My art is a result of the total of my life so far. Nothing has given me greater pleasure than to see a smile on my sister's face, and a big fat bowl to smoke."