UnNews:Kid's DS is Stolen
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
18 November 2007
New York, New York: In New York City, in Central Park, a lone kid was walking home from school playing his Nintendo DS (Pokemon Diamond). A clown then jumped out of the bush as the kid was walking by and wrested the DS out of the kid's hands and then proceeded to run off. Authorities on the scene spent 10 hours yesterday trying to make the kid stop crying on and on: "Now I'll never complete my Pokedex!" was all the kid said to authorities.
"We are currently devoting many hundreds of hours of manpower to try to find this kid's DS unit before it is turned into drug money," a New York Police Department media correspondent said in a press release, "We currently have about 215 of the New York Police Department's finest on this case because we get a kid who has yet to complete his Pokemon Diamond's Pokedex, and in itself makes this case out most important one in the queue."
After a grueling 6 hours of searching, the New York Police Depratment located the DS unit in the kid's house. A press release was issued not long after: "We are proud to report that the 215 of the New York Police Department's finest officers have finally found the kid's DS unit in the kid's room of his parent's house, buried under a pile of clothing. We have given the DS unit back to the kid, whereas the kid rewarded us with an Arceus Coin," the same media correspondent for the New York Police Department said later in the afternoon.
"A police officer has been assigned to oversee the completion of the kid's Pokedex, so that no more of these stealings can occur whilst he works diligently on his Pokedex," the New York Police Department's Chief of Police said in an interview the following day, "As of now, he has yet to finish his Pokemon Diamond's Pokedex, but our assigned police officer says that it won't be long now."
