UnNews:Jon Stewart SLAMS Hillary Clinton
Saturday, May 14, 2016
During a podcast interview with Dave Axelrod, Jon Stewart, comedian and political satirist, slammed Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton with a foldable chair. Clinton suffered a facial contusion and a cheekbone fracture from Stewart's unexpected assault. Stewart was quickly subdued by Secret Service agents and taken into federal custody. It is unknown what provoked the former host of The Daily Show to brutally assault the former Secretary of State and current Democratic Party front-runner.
In a statement released by the White House, President Obama has condemned Jon Stewart's actions as "overly aggressive... non conducive to meaningful and constructive dialogue", and has urged both parties to discontinue any actions that create more political discord.
"Now Hillary's FACE is CROOKED! Am I right?" said Donald Trump when asked to comment.
Eyewitness sources claim that Stewart and Axelrod were engaged in a fairly mundane conversation about the role of media in politics when Hillary Clinton walked onstage. Stewart rose from his seat, seemingly to shake Hillary Clinton's hand, before proceeding to slam the seat onto the former New York Senator's face.
Online rumors that Jon Stewart BLASTED Hillary Clinton, EVISCERATED Hillary Clinton or, heaven forbid, DEVOURED Hillary Clinton, are unsubstantiated.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "Jon Stewart SLAMS Hillary Clinton, with chair" Elite Daily, 14 May 2016