UnNews:John McCain Calls for Repeal of the 13th Amendment
25 October 2008
In a captivating announcement John McCain has suggested a new economic stimulus plan that would repeal the 13th Amendment.
"Lincoln was an asshole, under the influence of cronyism, and didn't care what a blow to the economy he was making [by enacting the 13th Amendment]," says John McCain. He further went on to say, "Under my new stimulus package many so-called Americans [not from Real America] would be put to work and this would create new mandatory jobs for every ethnic minority."
McCain reasons that such a plan would create new jobs, therefore boosting the economy, while taking the load off of white people from Real America. Other benefits, McCain says, would include increased goods production, better profits, more exports and a practical solution to Real America's growing immigration problem.
Sarah Palin applauded this move saying; "Finally, I don't have to tax Alaskan citizens with my kids' travel costs now that they can stay home and have Aunt Jemima watch them, and it won't cost me a dime!", just before she was applauded by several men in white hoods.
Several independent reports say that an attending ACLU representative had a heart-attack from the shock of this announcement.
Captain Oblivious, who spontaneously appeared on the scene was quote saying, "Holy shit! there are thirteen amendments?"