UnNews:Japenese children under the age of 8 smarter than average American college student

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

16 July 2007

Japanese girl taunts Yale student who scored lower than her.

TOKYO, Japan A study two generations in the making was finally completed today by top researches at Fujifilm University, a study that proved that an 8 year old Japanese child is on average smarter than some of the brightest minds in America. After having two generations of 8 and below Japanese children compete academically against students from Yale, Harvard, DeVry and UCLA. All of the Japanese children scored significantly higher than all of the American students on a 3,000 point system test. Then just to spite Americans they had a seven year old named Sakura Takanashi defeat American religious icon Derren Brown. After defeating Brown in under five minutes we caught up with Sakura to ask her about the match. Sakura openly admitted that she was drunk off her ass on SAKE the entire time and that Brown could lick her Sushi flavored Cunt. The country of Japan is thrilled over the fact that they now have scientific proof that they are smarter than Americans. President Bush plans to not stand for this and has publicly announced that he will nuke all of Japan's major universities first thing in the morning. After all he can't do it tonight the hit show Are you smarter than a 5th grader? comes on.

That will teach those damn smarty pants not to fuck with Ameircan colleges!

Sources

• Supersayian23 "Fuck we can't keep justifying how much we make people pay for college." Yale University, July 16, 2007