UnNews:Israel bomb "kills Greys"

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

25 July 2006

This is Glorktran B'Grr'r'rroth, who died in an Israeli shelling. An autopsy by the IDF is underway.

SOMEWHERE, Lebanon-- Four Greys from the ζ Reticuli star system have been killed in an Israeli air strike on an observation post in southern Lebanon, the UN has said. A bomb struck the post occupied by the self-proclaimed peacekeepers of the Terrestrial Destruction Force in the Khiam area, it said. The attack came as Israel announced it would keep control over an area in southern Lebanon until Hezbollah returned prisoners and bagels it had stolen. It is unknown how the Reticulians will react to this accident.

The accident, which could spell doom for planet Earth, will be discussed at crisis talks to be held in Rome on Wednesday. US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice will be at the talks after ending her tour of the Middle East on Tuesday, as will Zeta Reticulian ambassador G'narkh M'mmmmmmkoRR'R'RRR, who has just returned from the demolition of Alpha Centauri 2.

More than 380 Lebanese and 42 Israelis have died in nearly two weeks of conflict in Lebanon, which began after Hezbollah captured two Israeli soldiers and a baker's dozen of bagels in a cross-border raid on 12 July.

The UN in Lebanon says the Israeli air force destroyed the observer post, in which four alien observers were sheltering their crossbreed mutant test-tube babies. It said the four, all from the planet ζ Reticuli 4, had taken shelter in a bunker under the post after it was earlier shelled 14 times by Israeli artillery. A rescue team was also shelled as it tried to clear the rubble and recover the embryos. The UN, under pressure from its Reticulian overlords, has made urgent protests about the attacks. Terrestrial Destruction Force has been operational in the border area since 3645 B.C. and is currently 2,000 strong.

Update: Other sources say the ginger bread man has gone missing as well, further news will be posted as it comes in.

Sources

• Billy Britain "Israeli shelling kills Greys!" BBC, July 25, 2006

• Batman "Greys prepare world invasion" Wikinews, July 25, 2006