UnNews:How Donald Trump can save his presidency

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Friday, March 3, 2017

We at UnNews are huge fans of what he is doing to America. To simply put it in his own words, he is "making america pure, wholesome and raw" and his whole mission to do so may be in jeopardy just because a few bad seeds have connected the Trump campaign to Russia. We at UnNews believe that our lord and savior Donald Trump is the best president America has ever seen and therefore we have created a plan that will no doubt, save Donald Trump and help out in his mission.

1. Claim no involvement with Russia

Trump never recalls being associated with Mother Russia

Trump himself has claimed no involvement with the environment or trade deals, therefore he should claim no involvement with Russia or those who were connected with Russia. How will Donald Trump do it? Well... Claim he didn't recall hiring these Russian spies.

You may recall that Hillary Clinton tried to use the same phrase and it didn't work; mainly because she was a shifty snake and a route politician. Donald Trump can easily use this because he is a trustworthy human being and one of the most compassionate human beings on this very earth.

You may be asking yourself, "why use it if it doesn't work?". Well... Because Trump is not like Bush or Reagan or even Nixon, he is there for the people and the people will believe him because he is Donald Trump, the most honest man in all of America. What reason would Donald Trump have to lie?

2. Blame China

China is Donald Trump's mortal enemy because it takes away jobs and steals thunder from America. They manufacture what is supposed to be an all American made iPhone and they're stealing jobs from people who had jobs before so what better country to blame then China?

China's population may consist of slave labor and super leet hackers who could take down America in 2 seconds but Donald Trump has what China does not. Manpower and Seal Team Six... Yes, the Seal Team Six that has stopped Osama Bin-Laden will help defeat hackers using their special terrorism killing abilities.

Hackers are wimpy people who play StarCraft and drink Mountain Dew all day, they are no match for Seal Team Six.

3. ???

We put 3 question marks down because who knows what is going to happen. It is somehow going to work out in favor for America as we have defeated the United Kingdom, we have defeated Germany and we have stopped terrorism in the middle east. There is just no way we can lose with an increase military budget and Seal Team Six on our sides.

Don't doubt this process.

Hail Lord Trump!

4. Donald Trump's Presidency is Saved

And the whole world can go back to resting in peace knowing America's status as the best country in the world is safe yet again.

Though there is the problem of dealing with that TV show Black-ish.


UnNews hopes that Trump has read this and is doing all the above steps as we speak. This is impossible to fail, we've done it with all the Republican presidents and we managed to save Bush from being impeached almost a handful of times. If you know it did not happen then you must be reading that fake news stuff like CNN. UnNews is the only trustworthy news source as proven by history and science.

May our lord and savior Donald Trump make it without a scratch.