UnNews:Hotmail services offline - MSN gnomes need fixes

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22 February 2009

MSN Gnomes at work. The Gnomes have stopped working for safety reasons.

Microsoft - USA — A tragic accident in North Dakota has caused MSN services world-wide to halt activity for around 4 hours until a hot fix was introduced.

Microsoft's report that only came hours after the unexpected breakdown stated that while on a routine sign-up drill in North-Dakota, a net-gnome encountered a firewall that knocked him unconscious and caused a case of panic within the net-gnomes community that altered connection to MSN services for a little more than 4 hours.

Net-gnomes have been introduced by Microsoft since early this decade, their main job consists of carrying your username and password from your computer, making a sacred Indian dance with them by turning around them whispering "yoo-li-yoo-mu-tjaw" then taking them to Microsoft servers for processing and degradation. The process encounters little problems usually but the unexpected firewall, believed to be Unix-based, had been implemented and the gnome didn't see it which caused the accident. Microsoft however assured the other gnomes that the gnome in question has been transported out of the scene of the accident and his situation is stable, the other gnomes refused to work until Microsoft officials contacted world-wide servers to locate other possible surprise-firewalls that might get the net-gnomes in trouble.

Users who doubt having a firewall installed might have to download and start using the hot fix released today which includes instructions on how the user could himself perform the Indian dance then send his username and password by fax to Microsoft to get him online and chatting.

Sources[edit | edit source]

UnNews correspondent in Beirut, Lebanon.

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