UnNews:Hope sucked out of Wikipedia, experts report

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3 January 2007

The mechanistic repression of the grey world of the soulless insectoid forces of antisocial nerdery crushing all human hope beneath their repetitious Aspergic robot might. SMASH. SMASH. SMASH.

TEH ITNARWEB, Florida, Wednesday — The obsessive nerds on social networking site Wikipedia have won the latest battle in the war on Esperanza.

Recent deletion discussions have been overrun by geeks trying to impose a stark impersonal monolithic bureaucracy. It is well known that the deletionists and fun haters of the world have come to the Wikipedia in order to force a harsh atmosphere on all of the innocent editors just trying to have some fun. This is their most recent, and successful, effort.

In order to fight the forces of darkness, users were urged to rebel against the soulless coldhearted group of people trying to delete this pillar of the community. Clueful editors tried to open the eyes of the Wikipedians: “People can't work nonstop,” but they were outnumbered. Apparently the community at Wikipedia does not value building and supporting the community and will not allow itself to be forced to be supported. Valiant editors continue in their quest anyways.

Experts have posited that Wikipedians have no feelings unless they are also Esperanzans, and all editors who are not Esperanzans are robots. Esperanza is hope and the emotionless editors made of stone who "build" this "encyclopedia" clearly have never known it. However, experts encourage Esperanzans with news of the laws of robotics and hope that Wikipedians will not destroy the rest of us who have feelings.

Esperanza's membership and council have been forcibly "decentralized": dispersed and relocated, and their home lands razed to the ground and the earth salted. All Esperanza programs will be "migrated" to associated projects and will be opened to every soulless, feeling-disabled, Aspergic nerd on Wikipedia.

The deletionists won and Esperanza is gone. Farewell, hope of Wikipedia. We welcome your absence.

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